We need a new army...

Optimus Prime

[to Kid] Isn't anybody in here going to rape this guy?

Henry 'Razor' Sharp

Anthony: You could fill the Staple Center with what you don't know.
Peter: The Kings are playing tonight.
Anthony: You don't like hockey! Only reason you say you so it to piss me off!
Peter: ...I love hockey.

Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.

Frank Drebin

Ray Charles: Well is your mother here?
Margie Hendricks: No she's not, but I speak for us.
Ray Charles: Okay Speak For Us, how about $20 a week.
Margie Hendricks: We'll take $40. Each.
Ray Charles: Forty each?
Margie Hendricks: You heard me!
Ray Charles: Naw! How about $25.
Margie Hendricks: We'll take $30.

Last name? I'd rather not say. My brother's in politics.

Raoul Duke

Reuben Tishkoff: Frank, come on let me in.
Turk Malloy: How do you think it feels when you're sitting down on the toilet and someone's banging on the door?
Reuben Tishkoff: Well, I gotta sit down on the toilet or else I'm gonna shit on your feet.

Captain Steven Hiller: Oops.
David Levinson: What do you mean, oops?
Captain Steven Hiller: Some jerk put this...
David Levinson: Don't say "oops" ...
Captain Steven Hiller: What do you say we try that again?
David Levinson: Yes, yes. Yes. Without the "oops." Thataway.

Jay: All right, but let's say we're caught in a situation where we've got like five minutes to live, like a bomb or something is gonna go off. Would you fuck us then?
Bethany: In that highly unlikely situation? Yeah, sure.
Jay: She's a slut. Bunnnng.

Lois Einhorn: Listen, pet dick. How would you like me to make your life a living hell?
Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then.

Sherlock Holmes: By the way, who taught you how to dance?
Dr. John Watson: (grinning) Well...that was you Holmes.

Don't stop loving me. I can see it draining out of you. It's me, remember? It was a stupid thing to do and it meant nothing. If you love me enough, you'll forgive me.


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