Batman: I see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight. What am I?
The Riddler: Please! You're as blind as a bat!
Batman: Exactly.
[throws a batarang at his throne]

[to Goldmember] There are only two things I can't stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch.

Nigel Powers

Fifty bucks, Grandpa. For seventy-five, the wife can watch.

Kit

I know who I am! I'm the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude!

Kirk Lazarus

Officer Palumbo: What kind of name is that anyhow? Kumar? What is that five o's or two u's?
Kumar: No, it's actually one "u"
Officer Palumbo: Yeah... bullshit.

[after ripping the guy's ponytail off] You think you're so cool 'cause you can pee with your penis. Get a new conditioner, your ends are totally SPLIT!

Jessica (in Clive's body)

Those of us that had been up all night were in no mood for coffee and donuts, we wanted strong drink. We were, after all, the absolute cream of the national sporting press.

Raoul Duke

Lt. Frank Drebin: Hector Savage. From Detroit. Ex-boxer. His real name was Joey Chicago.
Ed Hocken: Oh, yeah. He fought under the name of Kid Minneapolis.
Nordberg: I saw Kid Minneapolis fight once. In Cincinnati.
Lt. Frank Drebin: No you're thinking of Kid New York. He fought out of Philly.
Ed Hocken: He was killed in the ring in Houston. By Tex Colorado. You know, the Arizona Assassin.
Nordberg: Yeah, from Dakota. I don't remember it was North or South.
Lt. Frank Drebin: North. South Dakota was his brother. From West Virginia.
Ed Hocken: You sure know your boxing.
Lt. Frank Drebin: All I know is never bet on the white guy.
[Nordberg nods in agreement]

You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on weed? Oh, there's some crazy shit, man. There's a dude in the bushes. Has he got a gun? I dunno! RED TEAM GO, RED TEAM GO.

Enhancement Smoker

Iris Gaines: You know, I believe we have two lives.
Roy Hobbs: How... what do you mean?
Iris Gaines: The life we learn with and the life we live with after that.

Inga: Werewolf!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Werewolf?
Igor: There.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What?
Igor: There, wolf. There, castle.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Why are you talking that way?
Igor: I thought you wanted to.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, I don't want to.
Igor: Suit yourself. I'm easy.

Phil Wenneck: God damn it!
Alan Garner: Gosh darn it!
Phil Wenneck: Shit!
Alan Garner: Shoot!

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