College women can smell ignorance... like dog shit.

Joel Goodson

Natalie Hegalhuzen: So you want to seduce the journalist whose politics you despise?
Brand Hauser: How dare you. I have no politics.

Zack Mazursky: Marco
Julie Beckley: Polo
Zack Mazursky: Marco
Julie Beckley: [breathily] Polo
[they kiss]

Mike Lowrey: You know what man? I'm so sick of this bullshit. What, I'm supposed to APOLOGIZE for my family leaving me money? All I EVER wanted to be was a cop. I go out there and take it to the max everyday. I'm the first guy through the door and I'm always the last one to leave the crime scene. So you know what? Fuck you, and fuck them, and fuck EVERYBODY that's got a problem with Mike Lowrey.
Marcus Burnett: I love you, man.
Mike Lowrey: Fuck you Marcus.
Marcus Burnett: I do. You're cool. You're my boy.
Mike Lowrey: Shut up, shut up Marcus. Slow-ass driver. Drivin' like a bitch. Slow-ass.
Marcus Burnett: Why I gotta be all that? I'll take you and me off this fuckin' cliff if you keep fuckin' with me. Then it'll be what, two bitches in the sea. Huh, is that it? Is that what you want?
Mike Lowrey: Shut up, Marcus.
Marcus Burnett: My wife knows I ain't no bitch. I'm a bad boy.

Who do you think you are...a Kennedy? You're a Bush. Act like one.

George Herbert Walker Bush

Pop Fisher: Come on, Fowler! Throw strikes!
Red Blow: Fowler's killing worms, Pop.

His internal organs are completely solid.

Reed Richards

Rob: Those guys are right. You're money.
Mike: Then why won't she call?
Rob: She won't call because you left. She's got her own life to deal with and that's in New York. She's a sweet girl and I love her to pieces, but fuck her, man. You got to get on with your life. You've got to let go of the past Mikey, and when you do, the future is beautiful.

Kevin: He's pullin' out the porn.
Finch: He's desperate. Jim, just wait 'til she leaves.

Merrill: For the kids' protection. They were watching the TV from 5am on. I didn't want them getting obsessed, like you said. They should be outside, playing Furry Furry Rabbit or tea party or something.
Graham Hess: What's Furry Furry rabbit?
Merrill: It's a game, isn't it?

Some canary bird...

Stanley Kowalski

Leo: Actors aren't animals! They're human beings!
Max : Have you ever eaten with one?

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