Good Lord - I've heard about this - cat juggling! Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Good. Father, could there be a God that would let this happen?

Navin Johnson

Bill: Hey Ted. Don't fear the reaper.
[air guitar]
Grim Reaper: I heard that!

Oliver: You given any thought to who you might be voting for?
Shelley: I definitely won't listen to what Simon says, he is just so mean. I usually always agree with Paula and Randy.
Shelley: Oh, you meant the president.

My grandfather... was a very... SICK... man.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein

Be not that far from me, for trouble is near; haste Thee to help me.

Private Jackson

Silent Bob: [to Holden] So there's me an' Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then about four months in, I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Dumb move, I know, but you know how it is - you don't really want to know, but you just have to... stupid guy bullshit. Anyway she starts telling me all about him - how they dated for years, lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah - and I'm okay. But then she tells me that a couple times, he brought other people to bed with them - ménage a tois, I believe it's called. Now this just blows my mind. I mean, I'm not used to that sort of thing, right? I was raised Catholic.
Jay: Saint Shithead.

I know you are, but what am I?

Pee-wee

King of Swamp Castle: Listen, Alice...
Prince Herbert: Herbert.
King of Swamp Castle: Herbert...

Professor Henry Jones: Late 14th Ming Dynasty. Oh it breaks the heart.
Indiana Jones: And the head. You hit me dad.
Professor Henry Jones: I'll never forgive myself.
Indiana Jones: Don't worry I'm all right.
Professor Henry Jones: Thank God... it's fake. See you can tell by the cross sections!

Smooth move, Ajax.

Rudy

Joe Reardon: He walked 18.
Larry: New league record!
Joe Reardon: Struck out 18.
Larry: Another new league record! In addition he hit the sportswriter, the public address announcer, the bull mascot twice...
[Joe laughs]
Larry: Also new league records! But, Joe, this guy's got some serious shit.

Jackson Bentley: Yes, it was my privilege to know him and to make him known to the world. He was a poet, a scholar and a mighty warrior. Jackson Bentley: He was also the most shameless exhibitionist since Barnum & Bailey.

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