I've never done this before. Hold still or it'll get messy.

Lisbeth Salander

Tobin Frost: Remember rule number one: you are responsible for your house guest. I'm your house guest.

Charles Frohman: [talking about plans for Peter Pan] ... And you have a pirate ship on stage, surrounded by tons and tons of water, James, that's a lot of water.
J.M. Barrie: It's a lot of water?
Charles Frohman: Yes, and that's a lot of money.

Who the fuck does she think she is?

Jim McAllister

Norman Burroughs: So... you're saying we should split up?
Dr. Finch: In order to reach that conclusion, Norman, I would need to see both you and Deirdre on a regular and disciplined basis, for five hours a day.
Deirdre Burroughs: I'm available, Doctor Finch.
Norman Burroughs: Five hoursa day?! I can't do that! I have to work!
Deirdre Burroughs: See, Doctor Finch, I told you. I'm married to a narcissist.
Dr. Finch: Norman, if I'm willing to clear my schedule to save your marriage, but you're not... then get out! Leave this office, go home, and start dividing your books and your record albums.
Norman Burroughs: This is bullshit. This is really fucking bullshit.
[Doctor Finch begins writing in his notebook.]
Norman Burroughs: What're you writing?
Dr. Finch: "Norman Burroughs is homicidal. He is an unapologetic alcoholic. He is dangerous and a threat to himself, his wife, and his child."

Beaumont: I just ain't getting in no goddamn, dirty-ass trunk man. I got a problem with small places.
Ordell Robbie: Well I got a problem with spending ten thousand dollars on ungrateful, peanut-head niggers to get 'em out of jail, but I did it!

Edith: It's against the law to be married to two people at the same time!
Dewey Cox: What about if, if you're famous?

Ricky Slade: Hey Jimmy, you got my pager number?
Jim the Driver: No, what is it?
Ricky Slade: I don't know, I was kinda hoping you knew.

Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor.

Harry Doyle

Dewey Cox: [singing] In my dreams, you're blowing me... some kisses.
Darlene: [singing] That's one of my favorite things to do.

[last lines]
Nora: You know what this means, right?
Tyler Gage: No, what's it mean?
Nora: You're gonna have to get some tights.
Tyler Gage: Done.
[He kisses her]

The side effects of medical marijuana, ladies and gentlemen.


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