Nancy Kendricks: [Mrs. Connelly leaves to run errands] Okay, come on. We don't have that much time.
Alex Rose: I know. She's running errands. That only gives us twelve hours.

Ian Miller: My parents' names are Rodney and Harriet.
Toula Portokalos: [horrified, looking at wedding invites] Rodney and HARRY!
Nick Portokalos: We didn't notice, so maybe they won't.

Your wedding better watch it!

Liv

General George Armstrong Custer: I'm a failure.
Larry Daley: No, you're not.
General George Armstrong Custer: No? Did you lead 208 Americans to their deaths in the Battle of Little Bighorn?

You have smoked yourself retarded.

Thurgood Jenkins

Bob: I was feeling tight in the shoulders and neck, so I called down and had a Shiatsu massage in my room...
Charlotte: Mmm, that's nice!
Bob: And the tightness has completely disappeared and been replaced by unbelievable pain.

What am I, fuckin' sandwich welfare? I think you should establish a good line of credit. Like how you bought your couch, payment plans. Remember how your mother brought in $10 everyday for a year and she finally got her couch Rent-A-Center Style?

Chuckie

Bartender: We don't have beer. Just tequila.
Ned Nederlander: What's tequila?
Bartender: Uh, it's like beer.

Ellen Griswold: I think I broke my nose.
Rusty Griswold: I stabbed my brain.
Audrey Griswold: I just got my period.

Somebody got to go to college, and it isn't going to be me.

Anne Marie

Ian: Herd, circle formation!
[the other deer surround Boog]
Ian: That's an oval, idiots! More... circular.

You were lookin' for that third three, but you forgot that Professor Green folded on Fourth Street and now you're representing that you have it. The DA made his two pair, but he knows they're no good. Judge Kaplan was trying to squeeze out a diamond flush but he came up short and Mr. Eisen is futilely hoping that his queens are going to stand up. So like I said, the Dean's bet is $20.

Mike McDermott

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