Commander: There's something moving.
Soldier: Well, what is it?
Commander: It's a horse they found wandering about in No Man's Land.
Soldier: What kind of a horse?
Commander: A miraculous kind of horse, would be my guess.

[flashback]
Leonard Shelby: How can you read that again?
Leonard's Wife: I love it.
Leonard Shelby: But you've read it so many times before...
Leonard's Wife: Don't be a prick. I don't read it to annoy you, I enjoy it.

Valentine McKee: What's it doing, Rhonda?
Rhonda LeBeck: Why do you keep asking me?

Now I will kill you until you die from it!

Saddam Hussein

Barry: Holy shite. What the fuck is that?
Dick: It's the new Belle and Sebastian...
Rob: It's a record we've been listening to and enjoying, Barry.
Barry: Well, that's unfortunate, because it sucks ass.

Grace: I've never seen the moon that big.
Bruce: We really shouldn't waste it.

Ann Foreman: I'm pregnant!
Dan Foreman: What? I'm sorry, I thought you just said that you were pregnant.
Ann Foreman: Yeah.
Dan Foreman: You can't be pregnant.
Ann Foreman: Yeah I can, I am
Dan Foreman: Yeah, how could that happen?
Ann Foreman: Well I think that you were there too.

And... what about seat belts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end and... you know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy will come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer because you're a *retard*.

Richard Hayden

[outside the shrieking shack to Ron and Hermione] Well, well. Look who's here - you two shopping for your new dream home? Bit grand for you, isn't it, Weasel-Bee? Don't your family all sleep in... one room?

Malfoy

There are a lot of things in my life that I thought were real and ended up being fake. Why can't the opposite be true?

Monica

Do you know why you're afraid when you're alone? I do. I do.

Vincent Gray

I never hear from my boss until he dies, then my whole life gets turned upside down!

Lefty

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