[in the pit, after deciding to not kill the Saber-tooth] Do not eat me when I save your life!

D'Leh

Dr. P: There are two kinds of men in the world: those who run shit, like me, and those who eat shit, like you.

Gimbel's Manager: Why are you smiling like that?
Buddy: I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite.

Harry Burns: How long do you like to be held after sex? All night, right? See, that's your problem. Somewhere between 30 seconds and all night is your problem.
Sally Albright: I don't have a problem.
Harry Burns: Yes, you do.

I'm just trying to be honest about being a misanthrope.

Mike

Four turtles, one's fighting a robot samurai. Why not?

Vernon Fenwick

Sean Parker: One suggestion: Get rid of the "the". Just *Facebook*. Flows better.

Nigel Tufnel: The sustain, listen to it.
Marty DiBergi: I don't hear anything.
Nigel Tufnel: Well you would though, if it were playing.

Tommy: Where are we gonna take the deer?
Richard Hayden: I dunno, the vet?
Tommy: You take dead animals to the vet?
Richard Hayden: Why not? I'd take you to the vet.
Tommy: Yeah I'll take you to the... Um...
Richard Hayden: Got that?
Tommy: Shut up.

Virginia Woolf: Do you think I may one day escape?
Vanessa Bell: One day.

My name is Max. My world is fire. And blood.

Max Rockatansky

The president wants to pass an amendment banning same-sex marriage. Anybody who's been married knows it's always the same sex!

Tom Dobbs

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