Gwen: I'm doing a human interest piece... on you.
Van Wilder: I'm flattered, I'd love for your piece to be on me.
[looks up at the ceiling and sighs]
Van Wilder: ... But sadly I don't do interviews, never have, never will. Do lunch though.

President James Marshall: Kathryn, if you give a mouse a cookie...
Vice President Kathryn Bennett: It's gonna want a glass of milk.

Willy Wonka: Don't you know what this is?
Violet Beauregarde: By gum, it's gum.
Willy Wonka: Wrong! It's the most amazing, fabulous, sensational gum in the whole world.
Violet Beauregarde: What's so fab about it?
Willy Wonka: This little piece of gum is a three-course dinner.
Mr. Salt: Bull.
Willy Wonka: No, roast beef. But I haven't got it quite right yet.

Mr. Potato Head: How did I get stuck with you as a moving buddy?
Rex: Everyone else was picked.

I don't think Father Flynn did anything wrong.

Sister James

Silent Bob: You're chasing Amy.
Holden: [shocked that Silent Bob spoke] What? What did you say?
Silent Bob: You're chasing Amy.
Jay: What do you look so shocked for, man, fat bastard does this all the time. He thinks just 'cause he doesn't say anything, it'll have this huge impact when he does open his fuckin' mouth...
Silent Bob: Jesus Christ, why don't you shut up? You're always yap-yap-yappin' all the time, you're givin' me a fuckin' headache.
[to Holden]
Silent Bob: I went through something like what you're talkin' 'bout, 'couple years ago, this chick named Amy.
Jay: When?
Silent Bob: A couple of years ago?

Astrid: [punches Hiccup] That's for kidnapping me.
Astrid: That's for everything else.

I can't wait to take leave so I can get me some fucking poontang.

Mr. Garrison

Have you ever been laid, Stolen Boy?

Tiffany Hartunian

Indiana Jones: Where'd they go? Into space?
Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Not into space... into the space between spaces.

Vianne Rocher: What do you see?
Armande Voizin: Not a damned thing.
Vianne Rocher: Come on, it's a game. What do you see?
Armande Voizin: I see a cranky old woman too tired to play games.
Vianne Rocher: Oh. I've got just the thing for you.

Kirk Lazarus: [to Tugg Speedman] Huh! What do you mean "You People?"
Alpa Chino: [stares at Lazarus, and then gets angry] What do you mean "You People?"
Kirk Lazarus: What?

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