What is this guy, a hamster?

John McClane

H.I.: What are you talkin' about, Glen?
Glen: What am I talkin' about? I'm talkin' about sex, boy, what the hell you talkin' about? I'm talkin' about l'amour! I'm talkin' that me and Dot are swingers, as in "to swing." I'm talkin' about wife swappin'. I'm talkin' about what they call nowadays open marriage. I'm talk...
H.I.: [Knocks Glen out] Keep your damn hands off my wife!

Peter Warne: Just keep your eye on that thumb.
Ellie Andrews: Still got my eye on the thumb. Peter Warne: Something must have happened. I'll try number 2.
Ellie Andrews: Well, wake me up when you get to 100.

Wanda: You just wanted to get me into bed.
Archie: I fell in love with you.
Wanda: How come you dumped me then.
Archie: I wasn't rich enough, remember.
Wanda: Say something in Russian.
Archie: No.

Oh man! How'd you get the beans above the frank?!

Mary's Stepfather

I let the wedding get bigger than Big!

Carrie Bradshaw

Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.

H.I.

Reuben Feffer: What did you do to her? Did you mess around with her oxygen tanks or something?
Claude: I did nothing, Luban.
Reuben Feffer: My name is not Luban! It is Reuben!
Claude: Look, look we had a scuba, we drink some white wine, we talk about life and we cannot help it. It is like love at first sight. She make like the fire in my trouser.

Giselle: Goodness, we sure has a lot of excitement tonight. Were you scared?
Morgan Philip: A little bit, but do you think Pip will be ok?
Giselle: Oh, well, I wouldn't worry about Pip. He is very brave.
[cut to Morgan's bedroom]
Giselle: I remember this one time, when the poor wolf was being chased around by Little Red Riding Hood around his grandmother's house, and she had an axe... oh, and if Pip hadn't been walking by to help I don't know what would've happened!
Morgan Philip: I don't really remember that version.
Giselle: Well, that's because Red tells it a little differently.

Your father would be ashamed of you.

Rachel Dawes

Hey you! Haircut! Where are you goin'?

Jimmy 'Popeye' Doyle

Why did you let him in our home? We have no idea who's after him

James Sandin

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