White Goodman: We should mate.
Kate Veatch: What?
White Goodman: Date! We should date some time. Socially. Go out and kick it.
[Kate retches, then forces it down]
White Goodman: Are you okay?
Kate Veatch: I'm fine. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
White Goodman: In some cultures, they only eat vomit. I never been there, but I read about it... *in a book*.

Brody: Take this stuff back to the office and get to work on those signs. "Beaches Closed. No Swimming. By the Order of the Amity PD." And let Polly do the printing.
Hendricks: What's the matter with my printing?
Brody: Let Polly do the printing.

Eleanor "Nell" Vance: Have you ever kept something for yourself because you were afraid?
Theo: All the time.

Andie: True or False: All's fair in love and war.
Ben: True.
Andie: Great answer.
Ben: Good question!

Dr. Pichlow: I know she'll appreciate all you've gone through to find her. Let's call her.
Harry Dunne: It's ringing!
Lloyd Christmas: [Answering a pink phone] Whoever this is, we're in the middle of something very important here.
Harry Dunne: This is your dad.
Lloyd Christmas: What? Hey guys, I know this is weird timing but I gotta take this. It's my dead dad.
Harry Dunne: She's got me on hold.

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Also, if you are unable to stop masturbating please, do so without the use of any pornographic images depicting quote, unquote 'angry sex.' That having been said, I'm a pretty good guy, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised how much fun we can have together.
Dave Buznik: Geez, without slippy-flippy's or angry masturbating I don't see how that's possible.
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin... from now on, unacceptable.

Willie Bank: This town might have changed, but not me. I know people highly invested in my survival, and they are people who really know how to hurt in ways you can't even imagine.
Danny Ocean: Well, I know all the guys that you'd hire to come after me, and they like me better than you.

James: You're alone... because you're faster than the others. But not stronger...
Edward Cullen: I'm strong enough to kill you...

[to Max] I just wanted to say, I'm sorry I threw rocks at you that day.

Dirk Calloway

...and it was like wicked dark down there. How's it going Bob?...

Lobster

I'm telling secrets to the one guy you don't tell secrets to.

Russell Hammond

We're talking dream dates compared to my horror. It started out fine, she's a very nice person, and we're sitting and we're talking at this Ethiopian restaurant that she wanted to go to. And I was making jokes, you know like, "Hey I didn't know that they had food in Ethiopia? This will be a quick meal. I'll order two empty plates and we can leave." Yeah, nothing from her not even a smile.

Harry Burns

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