Allison: I'm in the midst of doing my thesis.
Alvy Singer: On what?
Allison: Political commitment in twentieth century literature.
Alvy Singer: You, you, you're like New York, Jewish, left-wing, liberal, intellectual, Central Park West, Brandeis University, the socialist summer camps and the, the father with the Ben Shahn drawings, right, and the really, y'know, strike-oriented kind of, red diaper, stop me before I make a complete imbecile of myself.
Allison: No, that was wonderful. I love being reduced to a cultural stereotype.
Alvy Singer: Right, I'm a bigot, I know, but for the left.

That Night Train's a mean wine.

Jake

Thomas: I fetched those beef fillets for you ma'am.
Mrs. Dashwood: It was far less expensive in Exeter. Besides, it's for Marianne.

Henry: So, do you work here?
Beth: Yeah, I'm the Camp Director. You?
Henry: Me, no, I don't work here.
Beth: No, yeah, I'm the camp director... I would know if you worked here.
Henry: Oh, right.

[one of Alex's muffins is embedded in the door]
Bosley: What do you call this?
Dylan: Chinese fighting muffin.
Bosley: That's not funny. A friend of mine took a fighting muffin in the chest; they sent him home in four Ziploc bags.

Jake Forester: What's going on over there?
Sheriff Julie Forester: Whatever you do, do not go into the water.

I missed dinner last night because I got drunk with little Irish people.

Frank Falenczyk

[frantic] We have to go! You're all in danger! We have to go!

Enrique

Schmidt: Yo Sleepy, wus up homie!, everyone saying that Sleepy he like the Mexican wolverine
Scarface: Why you not talking?
Jenko: My name is Jeff

It happens every time, they all become blueberries.

Willy Wonka

Carmen: We have gathered here today to celebrate a magical gift that has been given to us...
Tibby: then why'd we have to pay for it?

He hooffed und he poooffed und he... signed an eviction notice.

Little Pig

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