Henry: So, do you work here?
Beth: Yeah, I'm the Camp Director. You?
Henry: Me, no, I don't work here.
Beth: No, yeah, I'm the camp director... I would know if you worked here.
Henry: Oh, right.

[one of Alex's muffins is embedded in the door]
Bosley: What do you call this?
Dylan: Chinese fighting muffin.
Bosley: That's not funny. A friend of mine took a fighting muffin in the chest; they sent him home in four Ziploc bags.

Jake Forester: What's going on over there?
Sheriff Julie Forester: Whatever you do, do not go into the water.

I missed dinner last night because I got drunk with little Irish people.

Frank Falenczyk

[frantic] We have to go! You're all in danger! We have to go!

Enrique

It happens every time, they all become blueberries.

Willy Wonka

Carmen: We have gathered here today to celebrate a magical gift that has been given to us...
Tibby: then why'd we have to pay for it?

He hooffed und he poooffed und he... signed an eviction notice.

Little Pig

I like you Rusty, but I think it's over... It's just not right for me. It's over... I don't want us to end enemies.

Caroline Polhemus

Lou Harris: You wanna piss with me?
Jack Ryan: I don't even understand what you're saying. Do I wanna piss with you?

Randy: You wanta know the truth?
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: You got a handle on that, do you, Randy?
Randy: He was an asshole before.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Whoo-ah!
Randy: Now all he is is a blind asshole.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Whoo-ah.
Randy: Hey, God's a funny guy.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: God doth have a sense of humor.
Randy: Maybe God thinks some people don't deserve to see.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Whoo-ah. Hah!

Mike Winchell: He designed his offense around one player. We're dead.
Brian Chavez: We're not dead. You just need to start throwing the ball.
Don Billingsley: We're dead.

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