Ron: I'm warning you Hermione! Keep that bloody beast of yours away from Scabbers or I'll turn it into a tea cozy!
Hermione: It's a cat, Ronald! What do you expect? It's in his nature.
Ron: A cat? Is that what they told you? It looks more like a pig with hair if you ask me.
Hermione: That's rich! Coming from the owner of that smelly old shoe brush. Too right, Crookshanks, just ignore the mean little boy.

If I rob Mulligan's pharmacy, are you going to ground me if I don't give you a piece of the action? If I go to Sam about you, will you have me whacked?

Jack Stall

I don't want to know who you use, as long as they're not complete muppets.

"Hatchet" Harry

Five. Four. Three. No more just driving. Let's go home.

Ryan Stone

Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?

Ed

Nicky Santoro: I'm what counts out here. Not your fuckin' country clubs or your fuckin' TV shows. And what the fuck are you doin' on TV anyhow?
Ace Rothstein: What are you...
Nicky Santoro: You know I get calls from back home every fuckin' day? They think that you went batshit.
Ace Rothstein: I'm only TV because I gotta be able to hang around the casino. You understand that. You know that. Come on.
Nicky Santoro: Your fuckin' ass. You could have done the food and beverage job without goin' on television. You wanted to go on TV.
Ace Rothstein: Yeah, I did want to go on TV. That way I have a forum. I can fight back. I'm known. They know they can't fuck around with me like they could if I was an unknown. That's right.
Nicky Santoro: You're makin' a big fuckin' spectacle of yourself.

Civilization has a natural resistance to improving itself.

Jerry Mulligan

Mike Lowrey: Please, man. Married life is easy. You only got one woman to satisfy.
Marcus Burnett: Yo, man, we ain't the Cosbys.

He came in to demand an answer and I told him the truth. That I have fought with myself over that night, one half of me swearing blind that I tied a simple slipknot, the other half convinced that I tied the Langford double. I can never know for sure.

Alfred Borden

Lee Christmas: So you like knives, huh?
Surgeon: I'm the knife before Christmas.

Ed: Look, what is it that you require of us?
Mountain Man: What we, uh, "re-quire" is that you get your god-damn asses up in them woods.

Isis: Where we come from, 'cheer' is not a word you hear very often...
Lava: They should call us 'inspiration leaders' instead.
Jenelope: Ooo, that's deep... I like that
Lafred: Look, I don't know why we writin to some talk show host. It's like we begging for charity or somethin'
Isis: It's not charity. Pauletta's from our neighborhood. She'll understand why we need the money.
Lafred: [laughing] tell her we need to buy doughnuts. Her big butt'll understand that.

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