Now then we need to go over some ground rules. You are to refrain from any any acts of violence including verbal assault and vulgar hand gestures. You may not use rage enhancing substances, such as caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, crack cocaine, slippy-flippy's, jelly stingers, trick sticks, bing bangs or flying willards.

Dr. Buddy Rydell

[to Danielle] I thought I was looking at your mother.

Maurice

It could look like someone you know or it could be a stranger in a crowd. Whatever helps it get close to you.

Hugh

[being lowered into the pit] I'm not going to have anything nice to say about this place when I get back!

Willie

Sam Spade: Haven't you anything better to do than to keep popping in here early every morning and asking a lot of fool questions?
Lt. Dundy: And gettin' a lot of lyin' answers!
Sam Spade: Take it easy.

If you're so smart, tell me something, how come you go to M.I.T. for 8 years to become a cable repairman?

Julius Levinson

[to Paul] Percy met your mouse.

Harry Terwilliger

Lewis Rothschild: Who're we calling, sir?
President Andrew Shepherd: I'm calling the organization of the United Brotherhood of It's None of Your Damn Business, Lewis. I'll be with you in a second.

Just remember, you shake it more than twice you're playing with it.

Bathroom Attendant

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to tag along is more than welcome.

Steve Zissou

Maria Elena used to say that only unfulfilled love can be romantic.

Juan Antonio

Reid Garwin: [seeing a girl in a short skirt, slapping a $20 on the table] Blue. Cotton.
Tyler Sims: [slapping down a $20] Pink lace.
Pogue Parry: [slapping down a $20] Boys, that girl hasn't worn panties since she was 12. [a gust of wind blows the girl's skirt up, revealing no panties] Keep the change, man.

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