Miri: Help me get this shit out my hair. Just use the water out of the toilet.
Zack: There's poo in there.

Jessica (in Clive's body): Hildenburg, I'm sorry I humiliated you in front of the whole school and the visiting eighth graders, but you have no idea what it's like... to wake up every morning... and have to shave your chin.
Hildenburg: [crying] Yes, I do.

I can not promise you riches. What I can offer you the chance to save the world one case at a time.

Lucien Wilbanks

I want you to jab, right in the tits, until they turn blue and fall off.

Frankie Dunn

Reuben Feffer: You don't know what it was like for me growing up. I had a mother who made me afraid of everything!
Polly Prince: Well, big deal, Reuben, my dad had a whole second family!
Reuben Feffer: What?
Polly Prince: Yeah, on Long Island. He had a wife, and kids, and a golden retriever!

Tommy: Hey, what's your name?
Helen: Helen.
Tommy: That's nice, you look like a Helen. Helen, we're both in sales. Let me tell you why I suck as a sales man. Let's say I go into a guy's office, let's say he's even remotely interested in buying something. Well then I get all excited. I'm like Jojo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet. Now the pet is my possible sale. Hello there pretty little pet, I love you. And then I stoke it, and I pet it, and I massage it. Hehe I love it, I love my little naughty pet, you're naughty.

Anne Marie: Just tell me what to do... please.
Matt: You want me to tell you what to do?
Anne Marie: Yes.
Matt: You know what to do.

Saruman: Concealed within his fortress, the lord of Mordor sees all. His gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth, and flesh. You know of what I speak, Gandalf: a great Eye, lidless, wreathed in flame.

Even now I cannot understand the measure of a life, but I can tell you this. I know that when he died, his eyes were closed and his heart was open. And I'm pretty sure he was happy with his final resting place, because he was buried on the mountain. And that was against the law.

Carter Chambers

Mutt Williams: I don't understand. Why the legend about the city of gold?
Indiana Jones: Well, the word for 'gold' translates as 'treasure.' But their treasure wasn't gold, it was knowledge. Knowledge was their treasure.

Sometimes I got so bored of trying to touch her breast that I would try to touch her between her legs. It was like trying to borrow a dollar, getting turned down, and asking for 50 grand instead.

Rob

The gods need US! They need our prayers! What do *we* need the gods for?
Share this quote

Cassiopeia

FREE Movie Newsletter