Do you want the long version or the short version? And I have to warn you, the long version is in Aramaic.

Uncle Arthur

Detective Vitale: He's got a rap sheet as long as my dick.
Detective Mercer: So, he has no priors?

Hippie Student: [Kumar trying to buy pot] Here, that's sixt - 80 bucks.
Kumar: 80 bucks?
Hippie Student: Yeah, 80 bucks.
Kumar: Yo, this is worth 40 tops bro!
Hippie Student: Bro? I'm not your bro, bro. ok, and that's 80 bucks. You don't feel like getting high tonight? If you don't feel like getting high, that's cool with me because there's lots of people around here. See this guy? Hey, what's up, George? I smoke buds with George all the time.
Kumar: What kind of a hippie are you?
Hippie Student: What kind of hippie am I? Man, I'm a business hippie, I understand the concept of supply and demand.

By now I’m sure you know who I am, what I’m capable of.

Bryan Mills

Good show! Jolly good show, Major!

Colonel Green

Peter: Do you need a plastic bag, or....
Sydney: Oh no. I don't clean up after my dog.

Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: I've got a surprise for you!
Dennis: Oh!... it's not a spatula is it?

Phillip Altman: Sometimes I think you're too good for me.
Tracy Sullivan: Don't be silly, I'm definitely too good for you.

Western Union Man: Kid, you all right? You need any help?
Marty McFly: There's only one man who can help me.

Dr. Alan Grant: [about the velociraptors] What kind of metabolism do they have?What's their growth rate?
Muldoon: They're lethal at eight months, and I do mean lethal. I've hunted most things that can hunt you, but the way these things move...
Dr. Alan Grant: Fast for a biped?
Muldoon: Cheetah speed. Fifty, sixty miles an hour if they ever got out into the open, and they're astonishing jumpers...
John Hammond: Yes, yes, yes. That's why we're taking extreme precautions.
Dr. Alan Grant: Do they show intelligence? With their brain cavity...
Muldoon: They show extreme intelligence, even problem-solving intelligence. Especially the big one. We bred eight originally, but when she came in she took over the pride and killed all but two of the others. That one... when she looks at you, you can see she's working things out. That's why we have to feed them like this. She had them all attacking the fences when the feeders came.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: But the fences are electrified though, right?
Muldoon: That's right, but they never attack the same place twice. They were testing the fences for weaknesses, systematically. They remember.

I'm gonna construct some construction that needs to be constructed.

LeeJohn

Anita: You have your big important council. The council,
[kiss]
Anita: or me.
[kiss]
Bernardo: First one,
[kiss]
Bernardo: then the other.
[Tries to kiss her, she pulls away]
Anita: Ah, I'm an American girl now, I don't wait.
Bernardo: Ah, back home women know their place.
Anita: Back home little boys don't have war councils.
Bernardo: Ah, but they do here. You want me to be an American, don't you?

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