[in court, to witness] Are you a homo? Are you a queer? Are you a faggot? Are you a fruit? Are you gay, sir?

Joe Miller

Look at Dickson's office. It looks like a giant cube of ice.


If you're gonna marry someone you might as well marry your best friend.


Voldemort: Don't you turn your back on me, Harry Potter! I want to see your face when I kill you! I want to see the light leave your eyes!
Harry: [facing Voldemort] Have it your way!
Voldemort, Harry: [both shouting together] Avada Kedavara!/Expelliarmus!

[after trying out a bridesmaid dress for the wedding] ... And you know what, Lydia? Just forget about the dress. We can tell everybody that Carmen's Puerto Rican. And it never occurred to you she might be built differently. Or that, unlike you and your daughter, she has an ass that the tailor didn't have enough bolts of material to cover, or better yet, just tell everyone there is no Carmen. Carmen doesn't exist!


I married Rambo!

Helen Tasker

William: It's not in me to withdraw.
Prince Edward: No. Nor me. Though it happens.

[about Sacajawea]
Larry: Was she deaf? She seems a bit unresponsive.
Rebecca: That's because she's a statue...

Indiana Jones: We're in trouble!
Willie: Trouble? What kind of trouble?
Indiana Jones: It's a long story. Better hurry up or you won't get to hear it.

Oh that's right, Private Pyle, don't make any fucking effort to get to the top of the fucking obstacle. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman

My Mum says my Dad has brown eyes because he is full of shit.


Julien: [King Julian has popped out from a cake] Hey, surprise, freaks! I am coming with you!
Alex: Oh ho ho, no, thank you.
Julien: Oh, *yes*, thank you. It is *my* plane!

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