Sol Robeson: This is insanity, Max.
Maximillian Cohen: Or maybe it's genius.

Finch: Did not just take out that chair.
Kevin: Yup, he took out the chair.

Professor Snape: You were seen! By no less than seven Muggles! Do you have any idea how serious this is? You have risked the exposure of our world! Not to mention the damage you inflicted on Whomping Willow, that's been on these grounds since before you were born!
Ron: Honestly, Professor Snape, I think it did more damage to us.
Professor Snape: Silence! I assure you that were you in Slytherin and your fate rested with me, the both of you would be on the train home TONIGHT!

I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no one liked me. I lost my job, I lost my house, Penelope hated me and it was all because of this terrible, awful Negro.

Louis Winthorpe III

What the hell is that?


Matt Kowalski: Houston, I have a bad feeling about this mission.
Mission Control: Please elaborate.
Matt Kowalski: Well, it reminds of a story.

[given a blanket] Oh good, the itchy kind, my favorite, does this one also have small pox? And that was a human tooth...

Maxwell Smart

Cassie Cartwright: Just finished my shift. Wanna dance?
Ennis Del Mar: I was just on my way to the...
Cassie Cartwright: I'm Cassie; Cassie Cartwright.
Ennis Del Mar: Ennis. Del Mar.

Jimmy: It's a place called the Vagabond Motel. It's at 1921 North East 23rd. It's under "Peaches".
Louise: What?
Jimmy: That's the code word. I miss you, Peaches.

I could write shorter sermons but when I get started I'm too lazy to stop.

Abraham Lincoln

Jim McAllister: Dave, I'm just saying this as your friend: What you're doing is really, really wrong... and you've gotta stop. The line you've crossed is... it's immoral... and it's illegal.
Dave Novotny: Jim, come on, I don't need a lecture on ethics.
Jim McAllister: I'm not talking about ethics, I'm talking about morals.
Dave Novotny: What's the difference?

Penny Escher: And I suppose you smoked all these cigarettes?
Karen Eiffel: No, they came pre-smoked.

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