Bob Banks: What is that smell?
Jack Byrnes: That smell, Bob, is our shit. Focker flushed the toilet in the den so the septic tank overflowed.
Greg Focker: I told you, Jack, it wasn't me, it was Jinx.
Jack Byrnes: FOCKER, I'm not gonna tell you again. Jinx cannot flush the toilet. He's a cat for Christ sakes!
Larry: The animal doesn't even have thumbs, Focker.

Bailey: You know what I like most about the stars? You look at them, at all of them up there... and you just know there's gotta be something more than...
Tibby: Life?
Bailey: There has to be
Tibby: Are you scared?
Bailey: Not of dying, really It's more that I'm afraid of time. And not having enough of it. Time to figure out who I'm supposed to be... to find my place in the world before I have to leave it. I'm afraid of what I'll miss.

Rail Crossing Crowd #2: Your breath smells like alcohol!
Hancock: That's cause I've been drinking bitch!

Brian: For 400 dollars I got Jerry Garcia in a pouch, man!
Thurgood Jenkins: Who the fuck told you that?
Brian: The man who sold it to me, Barry Garcia.
Thurgood Jenkins: So who is that, Jerry Garcia's brother?
Brian: No, actually it was Andy Garcia's brother.

Little brown eel comes out of the cave... Swims into the hole... Comes out of the hole... Goes back into the cave again... It's not too good is it Chief?


She's the village bicycle! Everybody's had a ride.

Austin Powers

You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals and shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah... be the first motherfucker to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien life form... and fuck it. People would be like, "There he goes. Homeboy fucked a Martian once."


A turkey stuffed inside a pizza, the whole thing deep-fried and dipped in chocolate.

Mayor Shelbourne

Go, trig boy! It's your birthday!

Garage Band Member

Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me.

Darth Vader

Phil Wenneck: God damn it!
Alan Garner: Gosh darn it!
Phil Wenneck: Shit!
Alan Garner: Shoot!

...And will you, for the love of God, put on a fucking shirt?

Phil Foster

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