You can put a cat in an oven, but that don't make it a biscuit.

Sidney Deane

John Wick isn’t the Boogeyman. He’s the man he send to kill the (expletive) Boogieman!

Viggo Tarsov

Father Cavanaugh: Son, in 35 years of religious study, I have only come up with two hard incontrovertible facts: there is a God, and I'm not Him.

Tessio: Tom, can you get me off the hook? For old times' sake?
Tom Hagen: Can't do it, Sally.

Obi-Wan: You don't need to see his identification.
Stormtrooper: We don't need to see his identification.
Obi-Wan: These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Stormtrooper: These aren't the droids we're looking for.
Obi-Wan: He can go about his business.
Stormtrooper: You can go about your business.
Obi-Wan: Move along.
Stormtrooper: Move along... move along.

Iosef Tarasov: That nobody?
Viggo Tarasov: That nobody is John Wick.
Iosef Tarasov: I'm not afraid of John Wick.
Viggo Tarasov: You should be. I once saw him kill three men with a pencil. A (expletive) pencil!

Just once I'd like to wake up with more time on my hand than hours in the day.

Will

Vanessa: Why don't you just fly everywhere? Isn't it faster?
Barry B. Benson: Because flying gets very tiring. Why don't you humans just run everywhere, isn't that faster?
Vanessa: I see your point.

Margaret Tate: Why didn't you tell me you're some kind of Alaskan Kennedy?
Andrew Paxton: We were in the middle of talking about you... for the last 3 years.

John Winger: Why'd the chicken cross the road?
Soldiers: To get from the left to the right
John Winger: He stepped out of rank, got hit by a tank
Soldiers: He ain't no chicken no more

Sergeant: Hello Nicholas.
Nicholas Angel: Hello Sergeant.
Sergeant: How's the hand?
Nicholas Angel: Still a bit stiff.
Sergeant: It can get awfully hairy out there. I'm surprised you weren't snapped up sooner for a nice desk job. That's what I'd do.
Nicholas Angel: I'm afraid I think my office is out on the street.
Sergeant: Indeed you do! Your arrest record is four hundred percent higher than any other officer, which is why it's high time that such... skills... were put to better use. We're making you sergeant.
Nicholas Angel: I see.
Sergeant: [mumbles]
Nicholas Angel: In where, sorry?
Sergeant: In Sandford, Gloucestershire.
Nicholas Angel: But that's in the country...
Sergeant: Yes! Lovely!
Nicholas Angel: Isn't there a sergeant's position here in London?
Sergeant: Oh, no.
Nicholas Angel: Can I remain here as a PC?
Sergeant: No.
Nicholas Angel: Do I have any choice in this?
Sergeant: No!
Nicholas Angel: Sergeant, I kinda like it here.
Sergeant: Well, you've always wanted a transfer to the country.
Nicholas Angel: In twenty years or so, yes.
Sergeant: Well done you.

Bobby: "Oh yeah, we've got to trim some of the fat around here."
Kurt: "What do you mean by trim the fat?"
Bobby: "I want you to fire the fat people."
Kurt: "What?!"
Bobby: "They're lazy and they're slow and they make me sad to look at."

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