Sherman McMasters: Where is he?
Doc Holliday: Down by the creek, walking on water.
Boy, don't make me open up a can of whoop-ass!Mary's Stepfather
Wayne Campbell: I mean, there are two Darren Stevens, right? Dick York and Dick Sargeant. Yeah, right, as if we wouldn't notice. Oh hold on: Dick York, Dick Sergeant, Sergeant York... Wow, that's weird.
Tumbler: Yo, so check out my new move. I call it "the Stranger." What I do is, I sit on my hand for, like, 15, 20 minutes, until it goes numb. No feeling at all. And then I rub one out.
Toby: "The Stranger," huh?
Atley Jackson: It's like a little boy's nursery school I've come upon here.
Hedley Lamarr: My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.
Hedley Lamarr: "Ditto?" "Ditto," you provincial putz?
Tai: Do you think she's pretty?
Cher: No, she's a full-on Monet.
Tai: What's a monet?
Cher: It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess. Let's ask a guy. Christian, what do you think of Amber?
Brian: For 400 dollars I got Jerry Garcia in a pouch, man!
Thurgood Jenkins: Who the fuck told you that?
Brian: The man who sold it to me, Barry Garcia.
Thurgood Jenkins: So who is that, Jerry Garcia's brother?
Brian: No, actually it was Andy Garcia's brother.
"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer." The benefits of a classical education.Hans Gruber
Lloyd: That's a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?
Lady at bus stop: Austria.
Lloyd: Austria! Well, then. G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!
Lady at bus stop: Let's not.
Tony D'Annunzio: Another Rob Roy, Bishop?
Bishop: You never ask a navy man if he'll have another drink, because it's nobody's goddamned business how much he's had already.
Judge Smails: Wrong, you're drinking too much your Excellency.
Bishop: Excellency, fiddlesticks, my name's Fred and I'm a man, same as you.
Judge Smails: You're not a man, you're a bishop, for God's sakes.
Bishop: There is no God...
Rusty: I hope you were the Groom.
Danny: Ted Nugent called, he wants his shirt back.
Make no mistake, it's not revenge he's after. It's a reckonin'.Doc Holliday