Train Conductor: The train service has been discountinued. This will be the last stop for all passengers.
Elliot Moore: Hey, what do you mean? Where are we?
Train Conductor: Filbert, Pennsylvania.
Elliot Moore: Filbert? Does anybody know where that is? Why are you giving me one useless piece of information at a time? What's going on? Hey, why would you just stop? You can't just leave us here!
Train Conductor: Sir, we lost contact.
Elliot Moore: With whom?
Train Conductor: Everyone.

Fran Kubelik: I never catch colds.
C.C. Baxter: Really? I was reading some figures from the Sickness and Accident Claims Division. You know that the average New Yorker between the ages of twenty and fifty has two and a half colds a year?
Fran Kubelik: That makes me feel just terrible.
C.C. Baxter: Why?
Fran Kubelik: Well, to make the figures come out even, if I have no colds a year, some poor slob must have five colds a year.
C.C. Baxter: Yeah... it's me.

Maurice: Mr. McDowell?
Cleo McDowell: Yes?
Maurice: There's some people here to see you.
Cleo McDowell: They're not from McDonalds are they?
Cleo McDowell: I don't think so.

If you are a part of that team, then my opinion of Notre Dame football just hit the shits!

Frank

[to his ikran on their first flight] Shut up and fly straight!

Jake Sully

Lou: I have a question: Why is it that Chuck here thinks he could smoke?
Chuck: Cause I do whatever I want whenever I want, you little Spanish fruit topping.
Lou: Honey, at least I didn't make my aunt pregnant.

You got enough nice pictures?

Joe Black

Either you're deliberately out of tune and sabotaging my band, or you don't know you're out of tune, and that's even worse.

Terence Fletcher

I'm not going to invite you in. Not because I'm married, but because I know who I am.

Rose

I've never done this before. Hold still or it'll get messy.

Lisbeth Salander

Don't cry, you're making a scene. Everyone will think I broke up with you.

George Simmons

Jake Oleson: I saw them feeding on Grandma Helen. I saw their teeth. They're like, vampires, you know?
Stella Oleson: Vampires don't exist, Jake.

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