Bagheera: Now, while you create a disturbance, I'll rescue Mowgli. Got that?
Baloo: [dancing away] I'm gone, man. Solid gone.
Bagheera: Not yet, Baloo!
Lloyd Christmas: Why don't you roll me inside. We can get the nurse to get the catheter out of me.
Harry Dunne: We don't need nurses for that.
Lloyd Christmas: But don't you have to...
Relax, would you? We have seventy dollars and a pair of girls underpants. We're safe as kittens.The Geek
Nothing makes a woman feel more like a girl than a man who sings like a boy.Gail
Abigail Chase: You're treasure hunters, aren't you?
Ben Gates: We're more like treasure protectors.
Rudy: I'm sorry I never got you to see your first game in here.
Fortune: Hell I've seen too many games in this stadium.
Rudy: I thought you said you never saw a game...
Fortune: I've never seen a game from the stands.
Rudy: You were a player?
Please Captain, not in front of the Klingons.Spock
Wipe that smile off your face, you're a dead giveaway.Julie Beckley
I'll drop kick you across the restaurant.Dan Foreman
I give them six months. Three, if she cooks.Helen
Frank Martin: It was just a favor. I don't usually do this sort of a job.
Audrey Billings: I thought you were a professional driver?
Frank Martin: A different kind of driver.
President Andrew Shepherd: Do you know what your problem is?
Sydney Ellen Wade: What's my problem?
President Andrew Shepherd: Sex and nervousness.
Sydney Ellen Wade: Sex and nervousness is my problem?
President Andrew Shepherd: Yes.