William Somerset: This guy's methodical, exacting, and worst of all, patient.
David Mills: He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda!

Leon, somewhere in Libya right now, a janitor's working the night shift at Libyan Intelligence headquarters. He's going about doing his job... because he has no idea, in about an hour he's going to die in a massive explosion. He's just going about his job, because he has no idea that about an hour ago I gave an order to have him killed. You've just seen me do the least presidential thing I do.

President Andrew Shepherd

Van Wilder: Well just take a look at this... ya... doodles... I attend class today just about stayed the whole time too!
Gwen: I'm glad you went to all your classes today.
Van Wilder: And a few that weren't mine, I stepped in the wrong room, liked what I heard... stayed.
Gwen: That's great!

Now, whose the bitch!

Erica

The Dude: Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking car.
Nihilist: Ve vant ze money, Lebowski.
Nihilist #2: Ja, uzzervize ve kill ze girl.
Nihilist #3: Ja, it seems you have forgotten our little deal, Lebowski.
The Dude: You don't HAVE the fucking girl, dipshits! We know you never did!

Kumar: Roldy! Roldy! dude, you gotta come quick. There is these two filthy pussies just aching to get boned by us!
[silence]
Kumar: I mean... duh... that there are these two lovely young pussies who would like to have a chat with you and I.

Lets get 'em boys!

Billy Boy

Lelaina: I just don't understand why things just can't go back to normal at the end of the half hour like on the Brady Bunch or something.
Troy Dyer: Well, 'cause Mr. Brady died of AIDS. Things don't turn out like that.

Merrill: Morgan, this crop stuff is just about a bunch of nerds who never had a girlfriend their whole lives. They're like 30 now. They make up secret codes and analyze Greek mythology and make secret societies where other guys who never had girlfriends can join in. They do stupid crap like this to feel special. It's a scam. Nerds were doin' it 25 years ago and new nerds are doing it again.
Graham Hess: Its just static, Morgan. Frequency.
Morgan: It's a code.
Bo: Why can't they get girlfriends?

We will pass through the American patrols, past their sonar nets, and lay off their largest city, and listen to their rock and roll... while we conduct missile drills.

Captain Ramius

I'm not sorry.

Ward Abbott

Some labels are best left in the closet

Carrie Bradshaw

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