[voiceover] Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody said it was a happy little tale... if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world... somebody lied.

Peter Parker

...And will you, for the love of God, put on a fucking shirt?

Phil Foster

I'm just a little boy who plays with his penis when he's nervous.

Kirk Lazarus

My esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino, has just brought some new evidence to my attention. Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time. But if I am mistaken... if the Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be... then, my friend, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have *ever* seen!

Ace Ventura

Tessio: Tom, can you get me off the hook? For old times' sake?
Tom Hagen: Can't do it, Sally.

You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on weed? Oh, there's some crazy shit, man. There's a dude in the bushes. Has he got a gun? I dunno! RED TEAM GO, RED TEAM GO.

Enhancement Smoker

Marla... the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can't.

Narrator

Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray, pretend for a moment that I don't know anything about metallurgy, engineering, or physics, and just tell me what the hell is going on.
Dr Ray Stantz: You never studied

A long time ago, in the underground realm, where there are no lies or pain, there lived a Princess who dreamed of the human world. She dreamed of blue skies, soft breeze, and sunshine. One day, eluding her keepers, the Princess escaped. Once outside, the brightness blinded her and erased every trace of the past from her memory. She forgot who she was and where she came from. Her body suffered cold, sickness, and pain. Eventually, she died. However, her father, the King, always knew that the Princess' soul would return, perhaps in another body, in another place, at another time. And he would wait for her, until he drew his last breath, until the world stopped turning...

Pan

Darth Sidious: Commander Cody, the time has come. Execute Order 66.
Commander Cody: Yes, my Lord.

It's a big blue-ish green man... with a strange-looking goatee... I'm guessing that's significant.
[hugs the statue]

Riley Poole

Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'nam!

Seth

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