Steven: Can I get a knife or fork?
Wench: There were no utensils in medieval times, hence there are no utensils AT Medieval Times. Would you like a refill on that Pepsi?
Steven: There were no utensils but there was Pepsi?
Wench: Dude, I got a lot of tables.

[to Carol] Hey! Driving is a serious business. I ain't having no accidents just because of you!

John Milner

Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.

Theodore

I would stay asleep my whole life, if I could dream myself into a company of players.

Viola de Lesseps

The stress is killing me.

Mikey Abromowitz

Why would you buy these pants?

Nick

Merrill: Excluding the possibility that a female Scandinavian Olympian was running around outside our house last night, what else might be a possibility?
Officer Caroline: I'm not done asking questions. And I don't appreciate sarcasm.

Jane Burns: If you don't let me, I'll never learn.
Dan Burns: But if I let you, you might not live.

Alex? If you think you're having a heart attack and you're going to die, call me first, okay? No use wasting money on the bus if you're just gonna be dead when I get here.

Emma Dinsmore

Friends don't fuck with each other's business.

Kelly

I know what it's like to feel abandoned.

Sid

I'm so tired of running rampant in the streets...

Megamind

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