Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman

I... am the Waffler. With my griddle of justice, I BASH the enemy in the head, or I burn them like so! I also have some truth syrup, which is low in fat.

Waffler

[Gil sees Justin wearing nothing but a gunbelt]
Gil: That's what you're wearing to bed? You'll catch a cold!
[Justin puts on a cowboy hat]
Gil: Perfect!
[Karen enters]
Gil: Karen, how about after the kids are asleep... (referring to Justin.) I wear this outfit?

Where are the coffee and doughnuts? You can't have a stakeout without coffee and doughnuts.

Ashley

Angie Gennaro: Did you ever sell to Helene?
Bubba Rogowski: There's reasons why there ain't three inches of plexiglass between us right now. That's because I don't fuck with skeezers like Helene. Or coconuts like Cheese. You should know better by now. I'm the king of this motherfucking jungle.

This tastes significantly better than sardines.

Joe Towne

John Milner: I know, uh... you probably think you're a big shot, goin' off like this...
John Milner: [he slaps Curt] ... but you're still a punk.
Curt Henderson: OK, John... So long... So long!
[Steve, Terry, Laurie and John wish Curt goodbye]
Terry Fields: Have a good trip!
Laurie Henderson: Bye, Curt. Good-bye!

I'm not following you, I'm looking for you. There's a big difference.

Martin Stett

Maggie: That's too bad. I wanted you to try my chili. It's pretty hot.
Dudley Frank: No, I'll try it. I like your kind of hot. Chili, chili hot. Food hot. That's the hot I want to kiss.

Actually, my name is Austin Powers. Danger is my middle name.

Austin Powers

Wear them. They'll make you brave.

Bridget

[opening lyrics] A long ass fucking time ago, in a town called Kickapoo, there lived a humble family religious through and through. But yay, there was a black sheep, And he knew just what to do. His name was young JB and he refused to step in line. A vision he did see of fucking rocking all the time. He wrote a tasty jam and all the planets did align.

JB

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