Phil Wenneck: God damn it!
Alan Garner: Gosh darn it!
Phil Wenneck: Shit!
Alan Garner: Shoot!

I followed all of the rules, man's and God's. And you, you followed none of them. And they all loved you more. Samuel, Father, and my... even my own wife.

Alfred

If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer.

Ace Ventura

My name is Jordan Belfort. The year I turned 26, I made 49 million dollars, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week.

Jordan Belfort

We must not expect happiness, Sayuri. It is not something we deserve. When life goes well, it is a sudden gift; it cannot last forever...

Chairman

Young Melanie: What do you want to be married to me for, anyhow?
Young Jake: So I can kiss you anytime I want.
[they kiss, and lightening strikes]

What the fuck, man? You shot me in my stomach! I'm gonna die now, probably. Man, I had y'all over for dinner! Fish tacos! This is how you do me?

Red

Tom Cassidy: What's your name again?
Christine 'Chrissie' Watkins: Chrissie.
Tom Cassidy: Where are we going?
Christine 'Chrissie' Watkins: Swimming

[singing] Women are irrational, that's all there is to that! Their heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags. They're nothing but exasperating, irritating, vacillating, calculating, agitating, maddening and infuriating hags!

Professor Henry Higgins

Scarface: Yo I'm Cuban, B!
Samson Simpson: Yes, Cuban B.

All right, if the applicant is young, tell him he's too young. Old, too old. Fat, too fat. If the applicant then waits for three days without food, shelter, or encouragement he may then enter and begin his training.

Tyler Durden

[as Peter leaves to confess to Lumbergh] Peter... watch out for your cornhole, man.

Lawrence

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