Jack Lime: Welcome to the station. Just wondering what time you feed that mustache.
Ron Burgundy: Maybe I’ll feed it a ham sandwich.
Jack Lime: Hey don't make jokes off my jokes!

Don't look at me. I do what he does - just slower.

Sam Wilson

Freddy Eynsford-Hill: Darling!
Eliza Doolittle: Freddy, whatever are you doing here?
Freddy Eynsford-Hill: Nothing. I spend most of my nights here. It's the only place where I'm happy.
[Freddy steps forward]
Freddy Eynsford-Hill: Don't laugh at me, Miss Doolittle.
Eliza Doolittle: Don't you call me 'Miss Doolittle', do ya hear? Eliza's good enough for me.
[Eliza starts to leave, then turns to Freddy, who is eagerly following]
Eliza Doolittle: Oh, Freddy, "you" don't think I'm a heartless guttersnipe, do you?
Freddy Eynsford-Hill: Darling, how could you imagine such a thing? You know how I feel. I've written two and three times a day telling you. Sheets and sheets!

Hey! You call this slop? Real slop has got chunks in it! This is more like gruel! And this Chateau le Blanc '68 is supposed to be served slightly chilled! This is room temperature! What do you think we are, animals?

Frank Drebin

[on her play] It's about a divorced woman, a writer. She's this high-strung, over-amped, controlling, know-it-all neurotic. [everyone stares in silence] ... who's incredibly cute, and lovable!

Erica Barry

People. Animals are not like that. They're always cleaning themselves. Did you ever see, umm... pigeons? Well, he's always picking on himself and his friends. They're always picking bugs out of their hair all the time. Monkeys too. Except they do something out in the open that I don't go for.

Palm Apodaca

Mike O' Donnell: Why are you dating him? He's bullying your brother.
Maggie O'Donnell: Who are you my father?

Larry Johnson: Sorry about the...
Foster: All right meow. (1) Hand over your license and registration.

Jack Twist: You gonna do this again next summer?
Ennis Del Mar: Well, maybe not. Like I said, Alma and me's gettin' married in November, so... I'll try and get something on a ranch, I guess. And you?
Jack Twist: I might go up to my Daddy's place and give him a hand through the Winter. But, I might be back... if the army don't get me.
Ennis Del Mar: [pause] Well... I guess I'll see you around, huh?
Jack Twist: [long pause] Right.

Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Selina! Selina Kyle, you're fired! And Bruce Wayne, why are you dressed up like Batman?
Catwoman: Because he *is* Batman, you moron!
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Was.
[shoots Batman]

I hate those guys.

Dean Vernon Wormer

Macaulay Connor: This is the Bridal Suite. Would you send up a couple of caviar sandwiches and a bottle of beer?
Margaret Lord: What? Who is this?
Macaulay Connor: This is the Voice of Doom calling. Your days are numbered, to the seventh son of the seventh son.
Margaret Lord: Hello? Hello?
Tracy Lord: What's the matter?
Margaret Lord: One of the servants has been at the sherry again.

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