Everybody remember, Lincoln Center and its ilk use these competitions to decide who they are interested in and who they are not. And I am not gonna have my reputation in that department tarnished by a bunch of fucking limp-dick, sour-note, flatter-than-their-girlfriends, flexible-tempo dipshits. Got it?

Terence Fletcher

Quintus Arrius: [startled from sleep by Judah's arrival] Why are you here?
Judah Ben-Hur: I was ordered to report to you during my relief.
Quintus Arrius: Oh yes, I had forgotten.
[he rises]
Quintus Arrius: You could have killed me as I lay there! You're a condemned man, why didn't you?
Judah Ben-Hur: I'm not ready to die.
Quintus Arrius: What do you think will save you?
Judah Ben-Hur: The God of my fathers.
Quintus Arrius: Your God has forsaken you. He has no more power than the images I pray to. My gods do not help me. Your God will not help you. I might. Does that interest you, Forty-One?
[pause]
Quintus Arrius: I can see that it does. I'm a fighting man by profession, and in my leisure moments, it amuses me to train fighting men. I own some of the best gladiators and charioteers in Rome. Would you like to become one of them?
Judah Ben-Hur: To die as your slave?
Quintus Arrius: Better than to live in chains below these decks.
Judah Ben-Hur: I will not be here forever.
Quintus Arrius: No? What would you do, if you escaped?
Judah Ben-Hur: Two people were condemned with me, my mother and sister, even though they were innocent. I will not rest...
Quintus Arrius: [interrupting] You do not say that you were innocent.
Judah Ben-Hur: Would it do any good to say it again?
Quintus Arrius: No. Now consider my offer carefully. You will never escape while we are victorious. If we are not, you will sink with this ship, chained to your oar.
Judah Ben-Hur: I can't believe that God has let me live these three years, to die chained to an oar.
Quintus Arrius: It's a strange, stubborn faith you keep. To believe that existence has a purpose! A sane man would have learned to lose it long before this.
Judah Ben-Hur: As you have. What drove it out of you?
Quintus Arrius: Go back to your oar, Forty-One.

Quint: You have city hands, Mr. Hooper. You been countin' money all your life.
Hooper: All right, all right. Hey, I don't need this... I don't need this working-class-hero crap.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary-Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful. Port, hut!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Prepare to mount!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Mount!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Port, hut! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Pray!
Recruits: [chanting] This is my rifle. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Order, hut! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: At ease! Good night, ladies.
Recruits: Good night, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [to the watchman] Hit it, sweetheart.

Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?
Inigo Montoya: Let me 'splain. [pause] No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry' Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape... after I kill Count Rugen.
Westley: That doesn't leave much time for dilly-dallying.
Fezzik: You just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful.
Westley: I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?
Inigo Montoya: There is but one working castle gate, and... and it is guarded by 60 men.
Westley: And our assets?
Inigo Montoya: Your brains, Fezzik's strength, my steel.

Nothing is worth nothing.

Terry Benedict

Erica Barry: Wait. You're leaving, Zoe's leaving, the entourage is leaving. You mean I'm going to be alone in this house... with HIM?
Marin: Well, the hospital's sending over a nurse first thing in the morning.
Erica Barry: In the morning? That's like 19 hours from now!

Unlimited technology from the whole universe, and we cruise 'round in a Ford P.O.S.

Jay

Charlie: Look, kid, I - how much you weigh, son? When you weighed one hundred and sixty-eight pounds you were beautiful. You coulda been another Billy Conn, and that skunk we got you for a manager, he brought you along too fast.
Terry: It wasn't him, Charley, it was you. Remember that night in the Garden you came down to my dressing room and you said, "Kid, this ain't your night. We're going for the price on Wilson." You remember that? "This ain't your night"! My night! I coulda taken Wilson apart! So what happens? He gets the title shot outdoors on the ballpark and what do I get? A one-way ticket to Palooka-ville! You was my brother, Charley, you shoulda looked out for me a little bit. You shoulda taken care of me just a little bit so I wouldn't have to take them dives for the short-end money.
Charlie: Oh I had some bets down for you. You saw some money.
Terry: You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Charley.

Mordecai: Do you want to know my name?
LeeJohn: I don't just want to know your name, I want you to whisper it in my ear.
Mordecai: MORDECAI!

Listen, I know what I like, and I know you know what I like, because you were trained to know what I like, but I would like to know, what do you like?

Prince Akeem

Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: Southern China? We've never even admitted we sent troops into China!
General Hummel: Who is this? Identify yourself!
Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: This is White House Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair, General.
General Hummel: How OLD are you Mr. Sinclair?
Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: I'm 33.
General Hummel: Well Mr. Sinclair, you've probably got no FUCKING idea what I'm talking about! By your 9th birthday, I was running BlackOps into China and my men were responsible for over 200 enemy kills! Now someone put some friggin tape over Mr. Sinclair's mouth, he's wasting my time!

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