Perseus: We can't do this...
Agenor: [smacks him] Two days ago, I was locked up in a cell trying, I admit, to escape being the son of Poseidon! Look at me now: in the bowels of Tartarus, saving the universe. Just follow the Navigator.

Echo Base Officer: You'll freeze to death before you reach the first marker!
Han Solo: Then I'll see you in Hell!

Constance Harraway: You wanna tell me what's up?
David Gale: Nothing. Everything. Something profoundly stupid happened last night.
Constance Harraway: I hope you used a condom.
[David looks at Constance]
Constance Harraway: Oh Jesus Christ, David. Was she one of yours?
David Gale: It was Berlin.
Constance Harraway: Oh great! Oh, that's great. I can hear the grapevine now. "They had to suspend her so that Gale could dick her with a conscience." A power differential equals coercion. That is great. You're so weak!
David Gale: You know, you're not my wife, Constance. Thank God!
Constance Harraway: Oh, well, don't worry. It's not a position I aspire to, so fuck you.

When it comes to relationships with women, I'm the winner of the August Strindberg Award.

Isaac Davis

Bianca: People expect me to be there!
Walter Stratford: Kat's not going, you're not going!
Bianca: Why can't you be normal?
Kat Stratford: Define normal.
Bianca: Bogey Lowenstein's party is normal.
Walter Stratford: What's a Bogey Lowenstein?
Kat Stratford: Bogey's party is just a lame excuse for all the idiots at our school to drink beer and rub up against each other in hopes of distracting themselves from the pathetic emptiness of their meaningless...
Bianca, Chastity: ...meaningless, consumer-driven lives.

Mark Hanna: You gotta stay relaxed. Do you jerk off?
Jordan Belfort: Do I jerk off? Yeah.
Mark Hanna: How many times a week?
Jordan Belfort: Like um... three, three or four times maybe.
Mark Hanna: All right, pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers in this racket. I myself, I jerk off at least... twice a day.
Jordan Belfort: Wow.

  • Permalink: Wow.
  • Rating: Unrated

Stan: How does it feel to be shot?
Michael: Don't hurt. That's what you wanna know. And how it's been, doing OK.
Stan: Yeah, same thing. Nothing's changed. I'm getting more ass than a toilet seat and Axel here, he's getting fatter than ever.

General Hummel: "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.
John Mason: "Patriotism is a virtue of the vicious," according to Oscar Wilde.

[drunk, rapping] Back up in your ass with the resurrection!

Samir

Go Go: Why are you stopping?
Wasabi: It’s a red light.
Go Go: There’s no red lights in car chases!

If you were a dork you should say you're sorry. Girls like that.

Lucy

Dan Foreman: Guys, I feel very terrible about what I'm about to say. But I'm afraid your both being let go.
Lou: Let go? What does that mean?
Dan Foreman: It means you're being fired, Louey.

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