We've all been screwed by Governor Tracy, and now, I'm going to screw her!


Jay: Well, this is fate! She's divorced, we don't want to redo the cabinets, and you need a wife. What do they call it when everything intersects?
Sam Baldwin: The Bermuda Triangle.

Guano bowls! Collect the whole set...


Gentlemen, keep your eyes open and your assholes puckered.


Darcy: Remember: They give extra points for alacrity and effulgence.
Kasey: Did we bring those?

1st Jailer: [looking in records] Miriam, wife... Tirzah, daughter.
Drusus: Yes, they're the ones. Are they alive?
1st Jailer: [examining the records, he is pessimistic] East section... lower level. Cell two. The jailer in that wing will know.
[Drusus is led down various passages into the lower dungeons]
Drusus: How long since you've seen them?
2nd Jailer: Never - and I've been here three years. But they're alive, all right.
2nd Jailer: [after demonstrating a slot in the bottom of the cell door] The food disappears.

Wendy Torrance: Hey. Wasn't it around here that the Donner Party got snowbound?
Jack Torrance: I think that was farther west in the Sierras.
Wendy Torrance: Oh.
Danny Torrance: What was the Donner Party?
Jack Torrance: They were a party of settlers in covered-wagon times. They got snowbound one winter in the mountains. They had to resort to cannibalism in order to stay alive.
Danny Torrance: You mean they ate each other up?
Jack Torrance: They had to, in order to survive.
Wendy Torrance: Jack...
Danny Torrance: Don't worry, Mom. I know all about cannibalism. I saw it on TV.
Jack Torrance: See, it's OK. He saw it on the television.

Winston: I don't have to know what I'm doing, just so long as you know.
Max Cherry: I think I do. Good enough?
Winston: You bet.

Tauriel: [weeps for Kili] If this is love, I don't want it. Take it away, please! Why does it hurt so much?
Thranduil: [sadly] Because it was real.

Mike Lowrey: [while looking at a photo album with Marcus's wife, Theresa and answers the phone, which Marcus dials] Hey, is this you, man?
Theresa Burnett: No, no. Put that back in, c'mon put that back in.

He has great business sense. First he sold me fish and chips, then the whole thing.


[to Laurie] Why are you so depressed? You'll forget him in a week. After you're elected senior Queen, you'll have so many boys after your bod.


FREE Movie Newsletter