Kathryn: Fuck her yet?
Sebastian: Working on it.
Kathryn: Loser.
Sebastian: Blow me.
Kathryn: Call me later?

April: Uh, Jessica has a... problem.
Ling Ling: She's only going to make us wait an hour this time.
Lulu: What about the class trip to Six Flags. She took so long in the bathroom we missed the bus.
Ling Ling: Our parents had to drive three hours to pick us up.
Jessica (in Clive's body): I had my period, OK!

[to Antoine about another boy in the reformatory] He escaped a week ago, but they got him. Around here to escape is bad enough, but getting caught is worse.

Juvenile Delinquent

You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek. But first... first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril. Mm-hmm. You shall see thangs, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... a cow... on the roof of a cotton house, ha. And, oh, so many startlements. I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the obstacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward. Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation.

Blind Seer

Ray Castro: Hey Sugarfoot! How do you like your new place?
[all the agents Laugh]
Eduardo Ruiz: This is not what my lawyers negotiated.
Montel Gordon: Fuck your lawyers. You aren't getting any cappuccino or Biscotti either. You don't like it, call 1-800-CRIMINAL.

Fox Mulder: Scully? Why would he say that? "Don't give up." Why would he say such a thing to you?
Dana Scully: I think that was clearly meant for you, Mulder.
Fox Mulder: He didn't say it to me. He said it to you. If Father Joe were the devil, why would he say the opposite of what the devil might say? Maybe that's the answer, the larger answer. Don't give up.

Dad, I can't believe you drank... and smoked... and was such a slut... But I still love you.

Maya Hayes

It's not just california... it's the whole world.

Jackson Curtis

Klingons never do anything small, do you?

Commander Riker

Jake: What are we doing here?
Elwood: You promised you'd visit the penguin the day you got out.
Jake: Yeah? So I lied to her.
Elwood: You can't lie to a nun. We got to go in and visit the penguin.
Jake: No... fucking... way.

Wolodarsky, go get the keys to that fishing boat, and throw them in the water. No, wait. They might have another set. Just blow it up.

Steve Zissou

Michael Bolton: No, no. If we get caught, we're not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison.
Samir: I don't want to go to ANY prison!

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