Church laws are fallible because they're created by man.

Loki

I cannot change the future. You can.

Phaedra

I don't know if i picked that circus but something told me that circus picked me.

Older Jacob

Cameron: You made the fat kid a little nervous. He thinks the joint messed with your mind.
Derek Vinyard: It did.

Cock it!

Ed

Lester Burnham: I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast.
Jim Olmeyer: Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?
Lester Burnham: I wanna look good naked!

Squidward Tentacles: Mr. Krabs, the customers are getting restless.
Mr. Krabs: Listen up, boy get in there and make me customers some krabby patties.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What's wrong, boy?
Mr. Krabs: We're out of krabby patties?
SpongeBob SquarePants: How can we make more krabby patties without the secret formula?
Mr. Krabs: You've got to have that formuler memorized by now.
SpongeBob SquarePants: But as you are aware, sir, the Employee Handbook clearly states, and I quote, "No employee may in part, or in whole, commit the Krabby Patty secret formula to any recorded, written, or visual form, including memories, dreams, and/or needlepoint".
Mr. Krabs: [He sobbed] Oh, curse you, fine print!

Larry, we're not electing the fucking Pope here. Just tell me who won.

Jim McAllister

Stan: What would Brian Boitano do if he was here right now? / He'd make a plan and follow through, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
Kyle: When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics skating for the Gold, / he did two salchows and a triple lutz while wearing a blindfold!
Cartman: When Brian Boitano was in the Alps fighting grizzly bears / he used his magical fire breath and saved the maidens fair!
Stan, Kyle: So what would Brian Boitano do if he were here today? / I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
Cartman: I want this V-chip out of me. / It has stunted my vocabulary.
Kyle: And I just want my mom to stop fighting everyone.
Stan: For Wendy I'll be an activist too, / 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
Stan, Kyle, Cartman: And what would Brian Boitano do? He'd call all the kids in town / and tell them to unite for truth, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
[intermission]
Stan, Kyle, Cartman: When Brian Boitano traveled through time to the year 3010, / he fought the evil robot king and saved the human race again!
Cartman: And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids he beat up Kublai Khan!
Stan, Kyle, Cartman: 'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from anybody! / So let's call all the kids together / and unite to stop our moms. / And we'll save Terrance and Philip too, 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! / And we'll save Terrance and Philip too, 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! / 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

Buzz Gunderson: What's that?
Judy: That's a new disease.

Father Ben: There are four voices on the recording.
Isabella Rossi: What does that mean?
Father Ben: Multiple demonic possessions.

[in passing a player in the locker room exposed in all his manhood] Don't stiffen on me.

Christina Pagniacci

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