Marissa: Listen, I'm sorry I didn't call you on your birthday.
Frank: My birthday? What do you mean?
Marissa: Yeah, last Thursday. Oh, you forgot your birthday, didn't you, Frank?
Frank: Damn it. I'm such an idiot.

Mother Nature just pissed her pants, dude!

Cody

Move over, Cabbage.

Prince Philip

Okay, people, let's make some fuckie fuckie.

Kelly

Peter Gibbons: Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you'd do if you had a million dollars and you didn't have to work. And invariably what you'd say was supposed to be your career. So, if you wanted to fix old cars you're supposed to be an auto mechanic.
Samir: So what did you say?
Peter Gibbons: I never had an answer. I guess that's why I'm working at Initech.
Michael Bolton: No, you're working at Initech because that question is bullshit to begin with. If everyone listened to her, there'd be no janitors, because no one would clean shit up if they had a million dollars.

Out there is a new world! Out there... is our destiny!

Clu

[over the CB] All right, listen up guys. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation.

Theo

Nigel Powers: [rubs throat] Ow...
Austin Powers: What's wrong with your neck?
Nigel Powers: I took a Viagra, got stuck in me throat, I've had a stiff neck for hours.
Austin Powers: I thank you!

Professor Snape: Potter! What's your hurry?
[Harry walks up to Snape]
Professor Snape: Congratulations. Your performance in the Black Lake was inspiring. Gillyweed. Am I correct?
Harry: Yes, sir.
Professor Snape: Ingenious.
[Climbs up ladder in his personal store room]
Professor Snape: A rather rare herb, gillyweed. Not something found in your everyday garden.
Professor Snape: [Picks up small vial, then climbs down to floor. He then shows the vial to Harry] Nor is this.
Professor Snape: Know what it is?
Harry: Bubble juice, sir?
Professor Snape: Veritaserum. Three drops of this and You-Know-Who himself would spill his darkest secrets. The use of it on a student is, regrettably, forbidden. However, should you eve steal from my personal stores again, my hand might just slip...
[turns vial sideways, then upright again]
Professor Snape: ...over your morning pumpkin juice.
Harry: I haven't stolen anything.
Professor Snape: Don't... lie... to me! Gillyweed may be innocuous, but boomslang skin? Lacewing flies? You and your little friends are brewing Polyjuice Potion, and believe me, I'm going to find out why!
[Slams door shut in Harry's face]

Mondoshawan: Priest, you and those before you have served us well. But war is coming. Stones not safe on Earth anymore.
Priest: My lord, if you take the weapon, we will be defenseless when the evil returns.
Mondoshawan: In 300 years, when Evil returns... so shall we.

Christopher Gardner: Probably means there's a good chance. Possibly means we might or we might not.
Christopher: Okay.
Christopher Gardner: So, what does probably mean?
Christopher: It means we have a good chance.
Christopher Gardner: And what does possibly mean?
Christopher: I know what it means! It means we're not going to the game.

Harvey Dent: Rachel's told me everything about you.
Bruce Wayne: I certainly hope not.

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