Annie Kinsella: Hey, what if the Voice calls while you're gone?
Ray Kinsella: Take a message.

Kevin: Separately we are flawed and vulnerable, but together we are the masters of our sexual destiny.
Jim: Their tiger-style kung fu is strong, but our dragon-style kung fu will defeat it!
Kevin: Guys...
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: The Shaolin masters of East and West must unite! Fight! And find out who is number one!
Kevin: GUYS! I'm serious!

Neil Kellerman: I have to say it. I'm known as the catch of the county.
Baby: I'm sure you are.
Neil Kellerman: Just last week, I stole a girl from Jamie, the lifeguard, and he asked her, right in front of me, "What does he have that I don't?" And she said, "Two hotels."

[realizing how round his frame is] Whoa, I gotta lay off da nuts!

Pip in Andalasia

Selena: Hannah, it's OK. He's not infected.
Hannah: But I thought he was biting you.
Jim: Kissing. I was kissing her. Are you stoned?
Selena: It's a long story.

Well, no offense, but if that is a woman it looks like she was beaten with an ugly stick!

Austin Powers

I love this job!

The Joker

Lady Tremaine: What on earth have you've been doing?
Cinderella: Dreaming, that's all.
Lady Tremaine: Well, then wake up!

Dan: So, he's a dermatologist. Can you get more boring than that?
Anna: Obituarist?
Dan: Failed novelist, please.

Like, do blondes, like, do they really have more fun?


Larry King: Hi, this is Larry King. The phone-in topic Today: "Ghosts and Ghostbusting." The controversy builds, more sightings are reported, some maintain that these professional paranormal eliminators in New York are the cause of it all.

Umpire: You threw at him intentionally!
Rick Vaughn: Oh, kiss my ass!
Umpire: You're gone!
Rick Vaughn: You're full of shit! Fuck you!
Umpire: Get outta here, rookie!
Rick Vaughn: Oh, why don't you blow me ump?

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