Maxwell Smart: [after he gets recruited as a new agent] I request a cone of silence.
Maxwell Smart: [he doesn't press the button hard enough so everyone can hear him] Oh, I'm so happy! I'm so happy! This is the best day of my life!
Lloyd: Dude, you didn't press the button hard enough...
Maxwell Smart: Right.

Andy Sachs: I thought only the first assistant went to the benefit
Miranda Priestly: Only when the first assistant hasn't decided to become an incubus of viral plague.

Mr. Mackey: I want to know where you heard all this horrific obscenities, m'kay?
Kyle: Nowhere.
Stan: We heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times before.
Mr. Mackey: Boys, I seriously doubt that Mr Garrison ever said: "Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker."

I want your blood. And I want your soul. And I want them both right now!

Johnny Ringo

I'd say it was probably the fall that killed this guy... or it could be the crowbar embedded in his skull. I'd say it's about 50-50.

Detective Vitale

I'm a Bondurant. We don't lay down for nobody.

Forrest

Calvin Candie: Your boss looks a little green around the gills.
Django: He just ain't used to seein' a man ripped apart by dogs is all.
Calvin Candie: But you are used to it?
Django: I'm just a little more used to Americans than he is.

I'm throwing seven different kinds of smoke!

Dupree

Jeremy Grey: [in response to the outfit he's wearing] I'm not even gunna say it, but you know I'm upset.
John Beckwith: Yes. But I think you look good.
Jeremy Grey: You know I don't look good.

It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds.

Doc Holliday

I've been swimming in raw sewage. I love it!

Lt. Frank Drebin

Ladies, shut up and hold on to your nipples!

Charlie Tweeder

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