[to Samantha] I don't think I'll be able to sleep if I don't feel this little talk has helped ya. So would ya be a sport and lie to me?

Jim Baker

Wai-Lin: They're looking for us, James.
James Bond: Let's stay under cover.

You haven't been tight since your brother fucked you in third grade

Chev Chelios

Since when do you go bowling?

Brad Hamilton

Admiral Piett: Should I hold them, my lord?
Darth Vader: No. Leave them to me. I will deal with them myself.

Russell Ziskey: John, do you think I'm officer material?
John Winger: God, I'm worried about you.
Russell Ziskey: Come on! I'm in good shape, I'm walking tall, I'm looking good. First weekend in Europe.
John Winger: Yeah. We're spending it in an airplane hangar... guarding a truck!
Russell Ziskey: We've got each other.

[Ray Castro is smoking]
Montel Gordon: You should really try a patch.
Ray Castro: Oh man, that shit doesn't work.
Montel Gordon: It worked for my cousin.
Ray Castro: Yeah?
Montel Gordon: Well he had to wear about 6 at a time, but it worked.
Ray Castro: So how is he now?
Montel Gordon: Oh he's dead.
Ray Castro: He's dead?
Montel Gordon: It wasn't because of the patch, man.
Ray Castro: So how did he die?
Montel Gordon: His wife shot him.

Jimmy Smith Jr: Yo man, lets get the fuck outta here, I need some privacy man.
Cheddar Bob: Can I come?

Maddy Bowen: Smuggler?
Danny Archer: How about 'Soldier of Fortune'... or is that too much of a cliché?

I've seen the way women look at you, even though they know you're a priest - especially when they know actually.

Anna Riley

You sound like an asshole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here. You're here of your own volition. You like to think the weight of the world rests on your shoulder. Like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Jesus, you overcompensate for having what's basically a monkey's job. You push fucking buttons. Anybody can just waltz in here and do our jobs. You-You're so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic, so much more important than it really is. Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dante! And badly, I might add! I work in a shitty video store, badly as well. You know, that guy Jay's got it right, man. He has no delusions about what he does. Us, we like to make ourselves seem so much more important than the people that come in here to buy a paper, or, god forbid, cigarettes. We look down on them as if we're so advanced. Well, if we're so fucking advanced, what are we doing working here?

Randal Graves

I refuse to be embarrassed by a car that looks like a Trapper Keeper.


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