We don't know how she got out of her room. It's as if she evaporated, straight through the walls.
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Dr. John Cawley

I feel a nightmare coming on...

A. J. MacInerney

H.I.: What are you talkin' about, Glen?
Glen: What am I talkin' about? I'm talkin' about sex, boy, what the hell you talkin' about? I'm talkin' about l'amour! I'm talkin' that me and Dot are swingers, as in "to swing." I'm talkin' about wife swappin'. I'm talkin' about what they call nowadays open marriage. I'm talk...
H.I.: [Knocks Glen out] Keep your damn hands off my wife!

First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi." Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it." Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?" Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice." And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

Mike Damone

Pitka: I am his holyness, the Guru Pitka. My goal is to say: Gee, You are You... TM.

We've been waiting here an hour. He's peed three times already.

Carl Showalter

Bill Ubell: No, Captain! That's Cedric. He's a friend.
Steve Zissou: Merci, Cedric. Remind me, we'll send him a red cap and a Speedo.

Great. I'm blind and you're deaf. What a perfect pair.


Jean Rasczak: You got 10 minutes to get ready and go.
Johnny Rico: Yes sir.
Jean Rasczak: Whos's in there with you?
Dizzy: Flores, sir.
Jean Rasczak: Make it 20.
Johnny Rico: We can do it.

All right, you primitive screw-heads, listen up!


This crystal may seem unremarkable, but then so is the seed of a redwood tree. It's how our mutual friend in tights made his Arctic getaway spot. Cute, but a little small for my taste.

Lex Luthor

Anne Boleyn: [on Mary's wedding night] You afraid?
Mary Boleyn: A little.
Anne Boleyn: I should be able to tell you how it will be tonight; give you advice on what to do. I failed you as an elder sister.
Mary Boleyn: No one could wish for a better sister.

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