You know, they should come with a warning. Earrings may come with *penis!*

Jessica (in Clive's body)

Jedi bitch!

Jay

House-keeping!

Dracula

Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the 8-Minute Abs?
Ted: Yeah, sure, 8-Minute Abs. Yeah, the excercise video.
Hitchhiker: Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 7... Minute... Abs.
Ted: Right. Yes. OK, all right. I see where you're going.

Mike Lowrey: Everybody wants to be like Mike.
Captain Howard: Yeah, and you're gonna be retired like him too.

Somebody call somebody.

California

Those giraffes you sold me, they won't mate. They just walk around, eating, and not mating. You sold me... queer giraffes. I want my money back.

Proximo

Isabel Bigelow: Oh, we're going to kiss aren't we?
Jack Wyatt: I thought so. But, thanks for ruining the moment Miss Narrator.

Pork away pal. Fuck her blue.

Otto

Cobb: I'm just doing what you taught me.
Professor: I never taught you to be a thief.

Missy: Spirits, can you hear me?
Ted: Yeah and we can totally see down...
Bill: Ted! That's your mom, dude!

Nigel Tufnel: You like this?
Marty DiBergi: It's very nice. It looks like hollow wood.
Nigel Tufnel: This is my exact inner structure, done in a tee shirt. Exactly medically accurate. See?
Marty DiBergi: So in other words if we were to take all your flesh and blood...
Nigel Tufnel: Take them off. This is what you'd see.
Marty DiBergi: It wouldn't be green though.
[Nigel points at Marty]
Nigel Tufnel: It is green. You see how your blood looks blue.
Marty DiBergi: Yeah, well that's just the vein. That's the color of the vein. The blood is actually red.
Nigel Tufnel: Oh then, maybe it's not green. Anyway this is what I sleep in sometimes.

FREE Movie Newsletter