I know talent when I see it - TALENT! Once, I was rehearsing birds - toucans - for this musical review in Brazil...

Mikey Abromowitz

Kurt: Listen up, Margo, those action figures are very important to me. They're worth a lot of money. And if I don't see every damned one back on my desk pretty soon, then, you can tell your teddy to watch his back.
Margo: [returns one action figure] I'll return them, one at a time... You going to Cindy's party?
Lars Lindstrom: Oh, no.
Margo: I was hoping you would. I really wish you would.
Lars Lindstrom: Do you think I could bring my girlfriend?
Margo: Oh, um, yeah, yeah, I'm totally bringing somebody
Lars Lindstrom: Hm.

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Also, if you are unable to stop masturbating please, do so without the use of any pornographic images depicting quote, unquote 'angry sex.' That having been said, I'm a pretty good guy, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised how much fun we can have together.
Dave Buznik: Geez, without slippy-flippy's or angry masturbating I don't see how that's possible.
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin... from now on, unacceptable.

Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Come on, guys. I'm a respected member of the scientific community. I've been published in four journals.
Landfill: Which one? Toad Load Weekly?

James 'Thunder' Early: Hey, where you going? You can't leave me, girl. I love you.
Lorrell Robinson: [sings] And Lorrell loves Jimmy. Lorrell loves Jimmy. Lorrell loves Jimmy, it's true. But Lorrell and Jimmy are through! [speaks] I got a show to do, remember, baby? [sings] Oh, baby, I got a show to do.

Pardon me folks. That was just a very attractive mental patient.


Bill Ubell: Captain, I am required by law to notify the bank of any illegal activities...
Steve Zissou: Just do what you gotta do to cover your ass, Bill.

Ellen Griswold: Stay in the car! It's hot and dangerous out here.
Aunt Edna: Don't you tell me what to do, I'll do what I want! I should never have come on this trip with you, I should have taken an airplane... and he...
Aunt Edna: He shouldn't even have a license to drive an automobile! He should be BEHIND BARS!
Ellen Griswold: SIT down and SHUT UP! Move outta that seat and I'll split your lip!

Ben: You want the hammer?
Angela: I want the hammer.
Ben:Then go get the hammer.
[James, who was sitting in the dark, shines his flashlight on them, scaring them]
James: OK, enough of that nasty sh**.
Ben: Baby 9-1-1, call 9-1-1!!
[he pushes her, then trips and breaks a glass table]

Hal: I bet on horses sometimes, but I don't really care about the money.
Rosemary: I never read that book.
Hal: What book?
Rosemary: Things losers say.

[Wearing a gumball dispenser on his head] I come in peace.


Victor Von Doom: Isn't it funny the way things turn out?
Reed Richards: Hilarious.

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