So horribly sad. How is it I feel like laughing?


My God, man! Drilling holes in his head isn't the answer! Now put away your butcher knives and let me save this patient before it's too late!


I want a world where Frank junior and all the Frank juniors can sit under a shady tree, breathe the air, swim in the ocean, and go into a 7-11 without an interpreter.

Lt. Frank Drebin

Rabbi Jake Schram: Jews want their rabbis to be the kind of Jews they don't have the time to be.
Father Brian Finn: Yeah, and Catholics want their priests to be the kind of Catholics they don't have the discipline to be.

Did I mention that my father's filthy rich and I'll be working for free?

Ellen Roark

Ray Charles: You're here now, what do you want?
Ahmet Ertegun: Mr. Charles, my company, Atlantic Records, has just acquired your contract from Swingtime. I'd like to discuss your future.
Ray Charles: Hold on, man. Don't jive me now. I ain't for sale.
Ahmet Ertegun: May I sit down?

I remember the staff at our public school. You know, we had a saying, uh, that those who can't do teach, and those who can't teach, teach gym. And, uh, those who couldn't do anything, I think, were assigned to our school.

Alvy Singer

If it was good news, he would've called us.

Ethel Shatford

Welcome to the Rock!

John Mason

The Shoveller: Doctor, you *are* a genius.
Dr. Heller: That's what the card says.

Victor Von Doom: It's time to end this.
Ben Grimm: No, Vic. It's clobbering time.

Madame, Madame, I know exactly how you feel.


FREE Movie Newsletter