Julie: Clean up your room, and clean up the kitchen.
Kale: Yeah, I'll do that. Let me just check my schedule.

[to Anna, who put her feet on his sled] Whoa, whoa, whoa, put your feet down. This is fresh lacquer. Seriously, were you raised in a barn?


I tried taking pictures, but they were so mediocre. I guess every girl goes through a photography phase. You know, horses... taking pictures of your feet.


Before you turn around, you've spent maybe 20, 25, 30 thousand dollars on a movie.

Jack Horner

Oh, fuck my cock!


Storm: Kurt, it's about to get very cold in here.
Nightcrawler: I'm not going anywhere

I use so much hand lotion anymore when I am masturbating that when I see people in public using lotion I'm thinking, holy shit their about to jerk off.

Ira Wright

These children haven't been properly parented in many years. They're practically feral. That's why I was brought in.

Chuck Wetherhold

[thinking] All right this is it. It is finally time for Kenny Fisher to become... da man. Now I've done my laps, and all ten finalists are present and accounted for. Ten lovely ladies, yo. Each one at my disposal. Ten willing and able tour guides into the theme park of love. But who will it be? Which of you gorgeous ten will be the lucky one?

Kenny Fisher

If we are going to pay this much for crab it better sing and dance and introduce us to the Little Mermaid!

Claire Foster

Nun: You know something’s wrong. You always felt it. You parents never told you the truth.
Moses: What truth?
Nun: The year of your birth, there was a prophecy that our leader would be born to liberate us. That leader is you, Moses.

Rick: What'd you do this time?
Jonathan: Well, I haven't done anything to anybody.
[bullets fly through the door]
Jonathan: ...lately.

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