Doug Billings: Either way, you gotta be super smart to count cards, buddy, okay?
Alan Garner: Oh really?
Doug Billings: It's not easy.
Alan Garner: Okay, well maybe we should tell that to Rain Man, because he practically bankrupted a casino, and he was a ruh-tard.
Stu Price: A what?
Alan Garner: He was a ruh-tard.
Doug Billings: [pauses to figure out what Alan was saying] *RE*tard.

Edith: It was your cousin's idea!
Dave the Minion: *What*?

Only after disaster can we be resurrected.

Tyler Durden

Captain Lennox: Okay, it's a Visa...
International Operator: Also, sir, have you heard about our Premium Plus full service call package?
Captain Lennox: NO I DON'T WANT A PREMIUM PACKAGE!

[Final Line] What the fuck have you done lately?

Wesley

Wheeler: [sits down] What up, Ronnie?
Ronnie: I don't wanna take my pants off!
Wheeler: [stunned] What?

Gru: [to the girls] You will not cry, or sneeze or barf or fart! No annoying sounds.
Agnes: Does this count as annoying?
[puckles her cheeks]

Martin: Whatever. I'm glad I'm not a Jew.
Ben Stone: So are we. You weren't chosen for a reason.

Thorny: [after pulling car over] Do you know how fast you were going back there?
College Kid 1: Umm... 65?
Thorny: 63.
College Kid 1: But... isn't the speed limit 65?
Thorny: Yeah. It is.
College Kid 2: [stoned] I'm freakin' out, man!

I bet you've had a hard time walking into a room full of people on your own, right? Yeah. I know that. I know what it is not to feel like your in the room until he looks at you or touches your hand or even makes a joke at your expense, just to let everyone know... you're with him. You're his.

Patricia

Jazz: You want a piece of me, huh?
Megatron: No, I want two!

I'm a lead farmer, mother fucker!

Kirk Lazarus

FREE Movie Newsletter