Michael Bolton: You haven't even been showing up for work, and you got to keep your job.
Peter Gibbons: Actually I'm being promoted.

Giselle: Oh, it's you.
Prince Edward: Yes, it's me. And you are?
Giselle: Giselle.
Prince Edward: Oh, Giselle! We shall be married in the morning!

Prince Akeem: Sir, did you happen to catch the professional football contest on television last night?
Cleo McDowell: No, I didn't.
Prince Akeem: Oh sir, the Giants of New York took on the Packers of Green Bay. And in the end, the Giants triumphed by kicking an oblong ball made of pigskin through a big "H". It was a most ripping victory.
Cleo McDowell: Son.
Prince Akeem: Yes?
Cleo McDowell: If you want to keep working here, stay off the drugs.
Prince Akeem: Yes

In the three years that I have known him, this is the most excited I have ever seen him.

Adam Goodman

John McClane: Is the building on fire?
Sergeant Al Powell: No, but it's gonna need a paint job and a shit load of screen doors.

I love you, and I need a piss.

Dan

Anita Miller: First it was butter then it was sugar and white flour, bacon, eggs, balogna, rock 'n roll, motorcycles. Then! It was celebrating Christmas on a day in September when you knew it wouldn't be commercialized! What else are you gonna ban?
Elaine Miller: Honey, you want to rebel against knowledge, I'm trying to give you the cliffnotes on how to live life in this world.
Anita Miller: We're like nobody else I know!
Elaine Miller: I am a college professor. Why can't I teach my own kids? Use me!
Anita Miller: Darryl says that you use knowledge to keep me down. He says that I'm a "Yes" person and you are trying to raise us in a "No" environment.
Elaine Miller: Well, clearly "No" is a word Darryl doesn't hear much.

[reading newspaper clipping] "Local boy Cotton delivers his first exorcism". As a little boy I thought this was in every newspaper all over the world.

Cotton Marcus

Now he's going to play that damn Vicki Carr record, and when he comes to bed he won't touch me.

Rose

I thought you'd never guess. My favourite - hot chocolate.

Roux

I'm sorry, I'm just a little pregnant here.

Marcee Tidwell

Doyle: You can't just think about your family. You have to think bigger than that.
Cooper: I'm thinking about my family and millions of other families.

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