Mick: Your nose is broken.
Rocky: How does it look?
Mick: Ah, it's an improvement.

Austin Powers: Your spy car's a Mini?
Nigel Powers: It's not the size mate, it's how you use it.

You're sitting on a winning lottery ticket and you're too big of a pussy to cash it in.


[Evie is drunk]
Evelyn: You're wondering, "What is a place like me doing in a girl like this?"
Rick: Yeah, something like that.

You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on weed? Oh, there's some crazy shit, man. There's a dude in the bushes. Has he got a gun? I dunno! RED TEAM GO, RED TEAM GO.

Enhancement Smoker

Leon the Snowman: By the way don't eat the yellow snow.
Buddy: Oh, I know that.

Sergeant Horvath: That's quite a view.
Captain Miller: Yes it is. Quite a view.

[paraphrasing Thomas Edison, about invention of light bulb] I didn't fail, I found 2,000 ways how not to make a light bulb; I only need to find one way to make it work.

Ben Gates

Jefferson's Brother: My brother's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill you and he's gonna kill me, he's gonna kill us!
Jeff Spicoli: Hey man, just be glad I had fast reflexes!
Jefferson's Brother: My brother's gonna shit!
Jeff Spicoli: Make up your mind, dude, is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us?
Jefferson's Brother: First he's gonna shit, then he's gonna kill us!
Jeff Spicoli: Relax, all right? My old man is a television repairman, he's got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.

Boy, don't make me open up a can of whoop-ass!

Mary's Stepfather

No one cared who I was, until I put on the mask.


Lieutenant Dan got me invested in some kind of fruit company. So then I got a call from him, saying we don't have to worry about money no more. And I said, that's good! One less thing.

Forrest Gump

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