Aldous Snow: [as he is watching TV] Didn't I fuck her once?
[Aldous sees Sarah Marshall on TV]
Aldous Snow: I did fuck her.

Steve Rogers: Ultron's calling us out. What are we gonna do?
Nick Fury: Something dramatic, I hope.
Tony Stark: Let's go give him a fight!

Graham: That is a nice gun.
Ria: Well, the car is registered to a Cindy Bradley. And that's not Cindy. That is a William Lewis.
[hands him a wallet]
Ria: Found under the front seat. Hollywood Division.
Graham: Looks like Detective Conklin shot himself the wrong nigga.

So you lost your job? I've lost 20 since graduation. Plus a wife and kid. And, in a new development this morning, a handful of hair in the shower drain.


Roy O'Bannon: [to Chon] If people start looking at you funny then just say, "Howdy, partner."
Chon Wang: ...Howdy... partner?
Roy O'Bannon: Say it a little faster than that or people'll think you're slow in the head.

State Trooper: [sees Kimble in hospital, disguised as a doctor] Hey, Doc! We're looking for a prisoner from that bus-train wreck a couple of hours ago, might be hurt.
Dr. Richard Kimble: Uhh, what does he look like?
State Trooper: 6'1, 180, brown hair, brown eyes, beard. See anyone like that around?
Dr. Richard Kimble: Every time I look in the mirror, pal... except for the beard, of course!

Look at these. I used to dream I'd be surrounded by exotic women's underwear forever and ever. Now I know they just save their best pairs for the nights they know they're going to sleep with somebody.


[Poking fun at Brody] Ah, the missus, Chief. If they don't like you going out, they'll love you comin' in.


Hey, we're closed.

Randal Graves

Professor Henry Higgins: Have some chocolates, Eliza.
Eliza Doolittle: [halting, tempted] 'Ow do I know what might be in 'em? I've 'eard o' girls bein' drugged by the likes o' you.
Professor Henry Higgins: [Takes a chocolate and breaks it in half] Pledge of good faith. I'll take one half...
[puts one half into his mouth and bolts it; then pops the other half into Eliza's mouth]
Professor Henry Higgins: And you take the other. You'll have boxes of them, barrels of them. You'll live on them, eh?
Eliza Doolittle: [Eliza chews hesitatingly] I wouldn't've et it, only I'm too ladylike to take it out o' me mouth.
Professor Henry Higgins: Think of it, Eliza. Think of chocolates. And taxis...! And gold! And diamonds!
Eliza Doolittle: Ah-ah-ah-ow-ow-oo! I don't want no gold and no diamonds! I'm a good girl, I am!

Hey Ian, we're gonna kill ya! Opa!


Milo: Why did you save my life?
Atticus: No gladiator should die from a blade to the back. When you die it should be to the front and it will come from my hand.
Milo: Well, I can make you a better promise

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