Strap, in for Everett. Don't shoot the ball unless you're under the basket all by yourself!

Coach Norman Dale

Robert Wakefield: Look, we need to take down either of these cartels: either Juarez or Tijuana. Not because they're a symbol but... hell, they are a symbol! But because we need to send a message! When Carlos Ayala hires Michael Addler as his attorney, I send Ben Williams down to San Diego as a prosecutor, why? Because it's a symbol. It's a symbol that we are sending the best! It's a message that we're going after their top guys.

Norman Bates: She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven't you?
Marion Crane: Yes. Sometimes just one time can be enough.

Teddy: To set yourself a puzzle you won't ever solve. You know how many towns, how many guys called James G? Or John G? Shit, Leonard, I'm a John G.
Leonard Shelby: Your name's Teddy.
Teddy: My mother calls me Teddy. I'm John Edward Gammell.

Because you insist on talking about Dad's bowel movements; size, color, frequency, I"LL CALL YA LATER!


I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.


Claire Standish: You know why guys like you knock everything?
John Bender: Oh, this should be stunning.
Claire Standish: It's because you're afraid.
John Bender: Oh God, you richies are so smart, that's exactly why I'm not heavy into activities.
Claire Standish: You're a big coward.
Brian Johnson: I'm in the math club.
Claire Standish: See, you're afraid that they won't take you, you don't belong, so you have to just dump all over it.
John Bender: Well, it wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being assholes, now would it?
Claire Standish: Well, you wouldn't know, you don't even know any of us.
John Bender: Well, I don't know any lepers, but I'm not going to run out and join one of their fucking clubs.
Andrew Clark: Hey. Let's watch the mouth, huh?
Brian Johnson: I'm in the physics club too.

Miles Darby: I left my G-4 at home.
Tyler Gage: [coughing] It's in his bag.

T.S. Quint: But they're engaged.
Brodie: Doesn't matter, can't happen.
T.S. Quint: Why not? It's bound to come up.
Brodie: It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry her child?
T.S. Quint: Sure, why not?
Brodie: He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him.
T.S. Quint: How is it that I go from the verge of hot Floridian sex with Brandi to man of steel coital debates with you in the food court?
Brodie: Cookie stand isn't part of the food court.
T.S. Quint: Of course it is.
Brodie: The food court is downstairs. The cookie stand is upstairs. It not like we're talking quantum physics here.
T.S. Quint: The cookie stands counts as an eatery, eateries are part of the food court.
Brodie: Bullshit. Eateries that operate within the designated square downstairs count as food court. Anything outside, of said designated sqaure, counts as an autonomous unit for mid-mall snacking. Now, if your going to wax intellectual about the subject...

It's not my fault!

Han Solo

Roy O'Bannon: You blew it, John! Never interrupt a man in the middle of a duel! I had 'im! That's what gets me: I had 'im! I had 'im!

John: I might get a shag at last.
Judy: Naughty.

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