Bender: [to himself] Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...
[the ceiling gives way]
Bender: Oh, shit!

Strap, in for Everett. Don't shoot the ball unless you're under the basket all by yourself!

Coach Norman Dale

Angus: Mom, what'd you mean when you said Dorian was your favorite?
Mrs. Lever: Oh, Angus, I love you both.
[Holds thumb and forefinger an inch apart]
Mrs. Lever: It's a difference of *this* much.

Judith: I don't want your shitty old house or your dead grandmother.
Wayne: I'll throw J.D. in. He doesn't look like much but girls call him the human power drill.
J.D.: It's true!

We are not things. We are not things!

Miss Giddy

Nothing and everything, it just hits her sometimes.


It is so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk.

Harry Burns

John McClane: These guys are mostly European judging by their clothing labels and their... cigarettes. They're well-financed and very slick.
Sergeant Al Powell: Well, now how do you know that?
John McClane: I've seen enough phony ID's in my time to know that the ones they got must have cost a fortune. Add all that up, I don't know what the fuck it means, but you got some bad-ass perpetrators and they're here to stay.
Sergeant Al Powell: I hear ya, partner. And L.A.'s finest are on it.

Lucius Fox: So what is it today? More spelunking?
Bruce Wayne: No. Today it's BASE-jumping.
Lucius Fox: BASE-jumping. Is that like parachuting?
Bruce Wayne: Kind of. Do you have any light-weight fabrics?
Lucius Fox: You know... I think I got just the thing.

Blaine is the stool capital of the world.

Glenn Welsch

Doc: Clara! Climb out here to me!
Clara Clayton: I don't know if i can...
Doc: You can do it, just don't look down!

[about the Heir of Slytherin]
Hermione: I wonder who it could be?
Ron: [sarcastic puzzlement] Let's think... who do we know that thinks all Muggle-borns are scum?
Hermione: If you're talking about Malfoy...
Ron: Of course, Malfoy. You heard what he said. "You'll be next, Mudblood"!

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