Dante Hicks: Hey, whatcha rent? "Best of Both Worlds"?
Randal Graves: Hermaphroditic porn. Starlets with both organs. You should see the box. Beautiful chicks with dicks that put mine to shame.
Dante Hicks: And you rented this?
Randal Graves: Hey, I like to expand my horizons.

Lucius Fox: So what is it today? More spelunking?
Bruce Wayne: No. Today it's BASE-jumping.
Lucius Fox: BASE-jumping. Is that like parachuting?
Bruce Wayne: Kind of. Do you have any light-weight fabrics?
Lucius Fox: You know... I think I got just the thing.

Han Solo: You said you wanted to be around when I made a mistake, well, this could be it, sweetheart.
Princess Leia: I take it back.

Madeliene White: Well, I'd love to tell you what a monster you are, but, uh, I have to help Bin Laden's nephew buy a co-op on Park Ave.
Arthur Case: [laughing] If that were true, you wouldn't tell me.
Madeliene White: [turning to leave] We're listing you as a reference.

I will simply deny you the crown and live... forever!

King Francis

Violinists love to play an E-string, but audiences really love a G-string!


You're not ashamed of me. You're really ashamed of yourself. Tell Lulu, easy on the chronic.

Korean Mother

Shawn: LeBron is a better rebounder and passer.
Russell Gettis: LeBron will never beat Jordan. Call me when LeBron has six championships.
Shawn: That's your only argument?
Russell Gettis: It's the only argument I need Shawn!

Norma, you're a woman of 50, now grow up. There's nothing tragic about being 50, not unless you try to be 25.

Joe Gillis

Kirby: You are just pissed off and bitter because you have not had sex in... how long? What is it... a year... maybe two? Refresh my memory please, Kevin. Haven't you heard of the sexual revolution?
Kevin: Who won, huh? Nobody. Used to be sex was the only free thing, No longer. Alimony... palimony... it's all financial. Love is an illusion.
Kirby: It's the only illusion that counts, my friend.
Kevin: Says who?
Kirby: Anyone who's been in love.
Kevin: Love sucks.
Kirby: So does your attitude.

[aiming the signiture gun at Sanchez's office window] Watch the birdy, you bastard.

James Bond

Jane: Oh yeah, I'm a real good caulker.
Kevin: [into recorder] Likes caulk.

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