Samantha: Is that weird? You think I'm weird?
Theodore: Kind of.
Samantha: Why?
Theodore: Well, you seem like a person but you're just a voice in a computer.
Samantha: I can understand how the limited perspective of an unartificial mind might perceive it that way. You'll get used to it.
Samantha: Was that funny?
Theodore: Yeah.
Samantha: Oh good, I'm funny!

Rasputia: What... the...? What just fell on my car?
Mr. Wong: Not what - who! Who just fell on your car? Ching chong ching chong!

Anthony: You could fill the Staple Center with what you don't know.
Peter: The Kings are playing tonight.
Anthony: You don't like hockey! Only reason you say you so it to piss me off!
Peter: ...I love hockey.

Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind

Kevin

Louis Simo: Lady, I can nail you with this.
Leonore Lemmon: D'Artagnan, you couldn't nail me with roses and a trip to Vegas.

You have called me a liar and a thief and a war propagandaist.

Howard Hughes

[manipulating Dupree's mouth so Jack seems to be speaking to him] Oh hell yeah, we was just at the wrong place at the wrong time, so don't feel so bad, chief.

Darwin Tremor

Patrick: [with a mouth full of sample wedding cake] This cake is fantastic!
Emma: Shh. Please...
Patrick: You mix these two together, it tastes just like a ring-ding.
Emma: [Patrick shoves a fork of cake in her face] No. No, no.
Patrick: Ah!
Emma: No.
Patrick: Ah!
Emma: [she accepts the forkful of cake] it was yummy.
Patrick: It's super-duper.

Voice of the stars: [to Tristan as he's sleeping, causing him to see it] Tristan. Tristan. Yvaine is in grave danger. A unicorn came to help her, but now they're heading into a trap. No star is safe in Stormhold. The last one fell 400 years ago and was captured by the same witches who seek Yvaine now. They tricked her, cared for her, and when her heart was once more aglow they cut it from her chest and ate it.
[he jerks awake]
Voice of the stars: There's no time to waste. A coach is coming. By any means possible you must get on it. Run!

Gwen Stacy: How did you get out there?
Peter Parker: Uh, the fire escape. Your doorman's intimidating.
Gwen Stacy: It's 20 stories.

Carla Jean Moss: Llewelyn?
Llewelyn Moss: Yeah?
Carla Jean Moss: What are you doing, baby?
Llewelyn Moss: I'm going out.
Carla Jean Moss: Going where?
Llewelyn Moss: There's something I forgot to do, but I'll be back.
Carla Jean Moss: And what are you going to do?
Llewelyn Moss: I'm fixin' to do something dumber than hell, but I'm going anyways.

Said Simple Simon to the pieman going to the fair, "Give me your pies... or I'll cave your head in."

Simon

FREE Movie Newsletter