Herman Blume: Why did you ask me to come here?
Max Fischer: Oh, I was going to drop that tree on you.
Herman Blume: That big one?
Max Fischer: Yeah.
Herman Blume: It would've flattened me like a pancake.
Sheba Hart: I hadn't been pursued like this for years... I knew it was wrong, and immoral, and completely ridiculous, but, I don't know. I just allowed it to happen.
Barbara Covett: The boy is fifteen!
Sheba Hart: But he's quite mature for his age!
Marilyn Hack and trash, what a juxtaposition.Chuck Porter
Howard Hughes: [doesn't hear what Kate says] Excuse me?
Katharine Hepburn: Well, if you're deaf, you must own up to it. Get a hearing aid, or see my father. He's an urologist, but it's all tied up inside the body, don't you find?
Howard Hughes: Mmm.
Katharine Hepburn: Me, I keep healthy. I take 7 showers a day to keep clean, also because I'm so vulgarly referred to as "outdoors-y." Well, I'm not "outdoors-y," I'm athletic. I sweat! There it is, now we both know the sordid truth: I sweat, and you're deaf. Aren't we a fine pair of misfits?
Roy O'Bannon: I feel like there's this gap between us. It's like I'm a cowboy, you're an Indian. You say wampum, I say money. It is so important, I just think that...
Falling Leaves: [kisses Roy] Shut up, Roy. You talk too much.
Hunter: Captain, National Military Command Center knows what sector we're in. They have satellites looking down on us to see if our birds are aloft and if they're NOT, then they give our orders to somebody else. That's why we maintain more than one sub, it's what they call redundancy!
Capt. Ramsey: I know about redundancy, Mr. Hunter.
Hunter: All I'm saying... all I'm saying Captain, is that we have backup. Now it's our duty, not to launch until we can confirm.
Capt. Ramsey: You're presuming we have other submarines out there, ready to launch. Well as Captain, I must assume our submarines could've been taken out by other Akulas. We can play these games all night, Mr. Hunter, but, uh, I don't have the luxury of your presumptions.
Dante Slate, Jr.: I got a copy that wants an official rematch, they'll pay you a hundred grand!
Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Well, I can't be in the same room as that guy. It's not worth it.
Dante Slate, Jr.: The hell you mean, it ain't worth it? I'm looking at your house!
Mary: If you ever see it again, whatever it is, don't catch it, just call me and we'll call somebody and have them take it away.
Gertie: Like the dog catcher?
Elliot: But they'll give it a lobotomy or do experiments on it or something.
Boss Paul: That ditch is Boss Kean's ditch. And I told him that dirt in it's your dirt. What's your dirt doin' in his ditch? Luke: I don't know, Boss. Boss Paul: You better get in there and get it out, boy.
Judge: You think you can help him?
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Yep. And if I can't, I'll tear him apart with my bare hands.
Huggy Bear: Look here, Hutch, you gon' have to lay up off this juice. You done had too much to drink.
Hutch: Come on! I feel like a million bucks. I'm just laughing, having a good time.
Huggy Bear: Look man, it ain't even funny no more. There used to be a time around here when you peed on the wall, you did it outside.
Hutch: Lighten up! It's Friday night. Okay, it's a bar.
Huggy Bear: Hutch, it's Wednesday afternoon man. Snap out of it.
President James Marshall: Kathryn, if you give a mouse a cookie...
Vice President Kathryn Bennett: It's gonna want a glass of milk.